Roses are red, violets are blue, and finding fun things to do on Valentine’s Day is no small to-do. In other (less poetic) words, February 14 can be a lot—a lot of hype, a lot of hoopla, and a lot of pressure, regardless of your relationship status. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Yes, it’s basically the hallmark of Hallmark holidays, but if you think outside the box of chocolates (which is still very much welcome, don’t get us wrong), there are plenty of not-cliché ways to celebrate love—romantic or otherwise.
Speaking of relieving pressure, if Valentine’s Day just isn’t your thing, there’s no shame in sitting it out entirely (and it goes without saying that COVID-19 safety guidelines should always factor into your social plans). But if you want to partake in the festivities, there’s plenty of fun to be had that doesn’t involve the bittersweet scent of rose petals mixed with notes of disappointment. The exact origins of the holiday are murky anyway, so why not make it your own?
Valentine’s Day plans should be about spending quality time with your favorite people, appreciating the love in your life, and/or strengthening your bond—with yourself, your friends, a long-term partner, a brand-new one, or a regular ol’ date. With that not-sappy sentiment in mind, we’ve rounded up 35 genuinely fun, unconventional ideas for things to do on Valentine’s Day—because this holiday deserves better, and so do you.
1. Decorate a Valentine’s Day tree.
“I put up a Valentine’s tree every year. It doesn’t have to be pink—I decorate a regular green artificial tree, the same one I use at Christmas. I trim it with red and white lights, wrap it with garland, and place vintage valentines among the branches. I get a little sad when I have to put my holiday decorations away in January, and it’s a great way to lift my spirits back up.” —Kate N., teacher
2. Enjoy a smash session at a rage room.
“Last year my boyfriend and I went to Break Bar NYC. After being cooped up during the pandemic, we figured this was the perfect activity for relieving some stress: The bar has a large selection of beer and cocktails, but the best part is that after you finish your drink, you get to smash the glass it came in! We lined ours up and went to town on them, which was so much fun and super safe (there’s a designated area and you wear safety gear). We didn’t go into the Wrecking Club area—where, depending on what you spend, you get to smash TVs and computers and other electrical goods—but the people who were coming out of there looked so happy!” —Rachel Q., director of audience development
3. Go to a burlesque and/or wrestling show.
“I went to Lucha VaVoom in L.A. once, a lucha libre-meets-burlesque performance. It’s like a sexier, funnier WWE event with Mexican masks—totally glam and kind of wild. The music blares, the performers are incredible, and there’s usually a comedian host. It’s just the right amount of fun and sexy for a low-pressure date.” —Xochitl M., clothing designer
4. Donate to queer causes.
“Every Valentine’s Day, I take the time to donate what I can to queer causes. Saint Valentine was killed for performing weddings for couples during a time when new marriages were outlawed in ancient Rome. So donating to those who still can’t have basic human rights because of who they love seems like a great way to celebrate!” —Christina L., artist
5. Have an indoor picnic in a DIY fort.
“Indoor-fun is the V Day theme for my boyfriend and me again this year (hello, pandemic and freezing New York temperatures). I’m going to build a fort with sheets, like we did as kids, using our L-shaped couch and some counter chairs—every good fort builder knows that contrasting heights are key. Then we’re going to have a picnic—homemade chocolate-covered strawberries, a cheese and charcuterie board, and beer for him and wine for me.” —Beth A., talent management
6. Go to a board game café.
“A date once took me to a little hole-in-the-wall cafe near NYU that was famous for having tons of board games, and it was easily the best date I’ve been on. Monopoly, Settlers of Catan—whatever board game you could think of, the café had it. But I particularly loved getting to know someone over a good game of Scrabble. I mean, how fun to find out the other person’s favorite ice cream as they’re trying to get a triple-word score! The café had a bunch of yummy coffees and teas, which is more my speed than drinks at a bar, and it didn’t feel like a stereotypical Valentine’s Day dinner-and-a-movie date. It felt easy because it was just about playing board games and chilling out. Although the guy and I didn’t work out, it was nice to try something different, and I’ll always remember it!” —Adrianna F., SELF social media manager
7. Pretend to be a Nascar driver.
“One Valentine’s Day, my partner took me to do something I had wanted to do for basically my whole life: drive race cars around a track. It was at a NASCAR place in New Jersey during off-hours and we each got a turn driving a Lamborghini around the track for a few loops (with a coach in the car with us who had a secondary brake—they’re obviously not going to let a bunch of idiots crash their Lambos). After that, we went to a big goofy chain restaurant nearby, got enormous fishbowl drinks, and took the train home. It was really exciting but not stomach-destroyingly terrifying.” —Molly S., editor
8. Take sailing lessons.
“I once took sailing lessons with my ex on Valentine’s Day—it was one of our earlier big dates. We learned how to control the sail and the rudder, which was really exciting, plus all the technical and directional terms—tacking, bow, stern, forward, aft—from a big strapping sailor who was really patient with us. We were out on the water for about four hours, half of which we spent learning how to steer the boat, as well as all of the safety stuff (like being extremely careful not to get slammed by the boom). The other half was just us sailing around the bay with our captain in control, which was super relaxing. We both really love being on the water, but the class also incorporated some physical activity as well as learning a new skill together, so it was a really fulfilling experience all around.” —Jarrett M., writer/editor
9. Go to a dog show (or watch one on TV).
“One year we went to the Westminster Dog Show on Valentine’s Day and it was so fun walking around the meet-and-greet area, petting the dogs, and giving them new names (“This one should be called Donkey Kong”) before the show. Then we got to cheer on our favorite dogs from our seats—and mentally boo the pups we deemed unworthy.” —Andrew L., software developer
10. Have your astrology chart read.
“I’ve always been big into astrology but had never had my chart read, so one Valentine’s Day, my friend and I went to an astrologer‘s house for an authentic reading. She made us tea and had printouts of our birth charts, which she went over in-depth—love, career, family, everything. It was a really fun framework for some self-reflection, but I would only recommend doing it with someone you’re close with because it can be a pretty vulnerable and intimate experience. I felt like I not only learned a lot about myself but got to know my friend better, too.” —Mia L., event production
11. Host a cocktail party for friends.
“I loved Valentine’s Day growing up—especially all of the red and pink decor and the fact that it doesn’t have to be a romance thing—so a few years ago when I was single, I threw a little cocktail party for about 10 of my girlfriends. I made strawberry mojitos and someone else brought sangria. I put out finger foods and red velvet cupcakes, and I also made Valentine cards for everyone. One of my friends brought tarot cards and did readings for the group—it was so much fun!” —Tiffany M., fashion consultant
12. Throw a Valentine-making crafternoon.
“A friend of mine organized a card-making potluck brunch for a bunch of friends. She set up a community room in her apartment building: a long table for seating, some tables for food, and even a photo backdrop. There were probably about 20 people there and everyone brought something for brunch—quiches, cinnamon rolls, potatoes, scones, mimosa fixings, a little bit of everything! We all ate and mingled first and then got down to crafting business. My friend provided plenty of construction paper, scissors, glue, glitter, scraps of cool paper, stickers, and pens. A lot of people brought their own materials to share as well, so we ended up with a ton of different supplies to work with. There was no structure to the crafting—it was just an open space to create whatever you wanted. We took photos against the backdrop with all of our custom cards when they were finished!” —Lily B., data visualization engineer
13. Go beer tasting at a local brewery.
“One year my husband and I went to a local brewery that was doing a Valentine’s Day tasting event. We each got a flight—five small glasses filled with a variety of craft beers, from light to dark. Even if you’re not usually a beer person, ordering a flight is fun because you can really taste and appreciate the different flavors and see how the brewing process affects the final product. My husband brews beer at home so he was really into it, and it was way more interesting than just getting a standard drink at a bar.” —Laurie N., creative director
14. Buy yourself something special.
“My mom and grandma loved wearing pearls, so I’ve always wanted to get a pearl necklace for myself. I’d been eyeing one for months and I just thought, ‘What the heck? I don’t need to wait for someone to gift this to me. I can gift it to myself!’ It arrived a few days before Valentine’s Day and I had totally forgotten the gift note I wrote for myself. It was such a delight opening up the box and seeing: “To Frances, you’re a badass bitch!” It felt so special to celebrate me.” —Frances D., SELF social media manager
15. Go on a group dinner date.
“It’s much easier to get seated for Valentine’s Day dinner as a party of more than two. Nice restaurants anticipate tons of couples to show up wanting two-tops, but they often save a few bigger tables just in case any larger parties arrive. One Valentine’s Day, my partner and I went to Frankies 457 in Brooklyn with another couple. The whole place was packed to the gills with couples on dates, but the restaurant had two or three open four-tops (it’s definitely worth calling ahead just to confirm there’s a table available for a bigger party, though). We waltzed right in and had an amazing dinner with great friends.” —Bryan M.*
16. Make fancy homemade pizza.
“My husband and I make homemade pizzas every year on Valentine’s Day. It started in 2015 when we were dating and sick of overpaying for a mediocre preset meal in NYC, but we still wanted to do something special. We were into cooking shows and decided to make it a competition, with each of us making a pie and surprising the other with the flavor. Flash forward to getting married and having a toddler (who loves pizza!), and it’s become an annual tradition. We get dough from a local pizzeria and really high-quality ingredients and try to come up with new and elaborate flavors. My favorite so far has been a balsamic peach burrata pie—YUM.” —Rinata R., consumer research
17. Learn to make sushi at home.
“Since I had taken a sushi-making class, I once suggested making rolls at home for Valentine’s Day with my now-ex. It was kind of a new relationship—and he was pretty shy and quiet—and the activity ended up being way better than an awkward dinner out. We made a day out of it: In the morning, we went to a market in L.A.’s Little Tokyo and bought salmon and spicy tuna, sushi fixings, some small appetizers, and mochi for dessert. Then we brought our haul back to my house and did all the prep work. We were cracking up as we incorrectly rolled the sushi, but it was still a delicious, low-budget, low-pressure activity.” —Tracy S., app developer
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18. Be your own perfect date.
“I make myself dinner and eat by candlelight. Or draw a bath and hop in it! Basically, whatever I wish someone else was doing for me, I do for myself. That’s my general rule when I’m single. Wish you had a cool boyfriend who knew how to ride a wave? Learn how to surf yourself!” —Amy S., art director
19. Cook a whole meal from a new cookbook.
“I’m always looking for reasons to try new recipes, and Valentine’s Day is the perfect one. I love cracking open a new cookbook and using it to make an entire meal. This year I’m going to try making a spread from Heidi Swanson’s Super Natural Simple: a peanut and saffron citrus salad to start, ravioli in toasted almond broth for the main dish, and raspberry cookies for dessert. Using recipes from the same book makes the meal feel cohesive—and makes me feel accomplished.” —Caroline C., artist
20. Get elevated at a bar or restaurant with a view.
“Sometimes all a date needs to feel special is a really spectacular view. Before we were married, my now-husband took me on the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway—it’s like a train car that hangs from a cable and goes all the way up a pretty steep mountain. Ten minutes after hopping on, you’re at the top and the view is incredible. We hiked around at sunset and then had dinner at the restaurant.” —Jill D., food stylist
21. Go to a couple’s paint-and-sip event.
“My boyfriend and I did a group trip to a local paint-and-sip, where you can BYOB to a legit painting class. They were doing a Valentine’s Day couples special where instead of everyone painting their own picture, each pair got two canvases to create a joint painting. It was a lot of fun to work together and then compare our works of art with the rest of our group at the end!” —Fallon H., human resources
22. Take a mud bath.
“I took a date to a mud bath at a day spa. It was kind of cheesy but so much fun. We wore bathing suits and covered ourselves in mud, then lounged around the spa the rest of the day. My skin has never been so soft since.” —Kirk B., musician
23. Have a self-care day.
“I have a partner who does really sweet, generous acts of love throughout the year but never on Valentine’s Day, so I typically spend the holiday doing whatever makes me feel best. Sometimes I plan and make a super fancy dinner and I always fit in self-care—like treating myself to a mani-pedi or getting my hair blown out. I like the idea of making the day less about couples and overpriced dinner experiences, and more about taking care of oneself.” —Jeanette W., consultant
24. Bring a picnic on a hike.
“My partner and I are pretty outdoorsy and usually avoid the crowded-restaurant thing on Valentine’s Day in favor of something more adventurous. One year, we packed a picnic lunch—cheese, crackers, sandwiches we picked up from a local deli, cans of sparkling wine—and hiked with friends to the top of Mt. Tam, where there’s a beautiful view of San Francisco. It wasn’t a long hike but the elevation made it pretty intense. It was fun because we really got to talk to each other and catch up while we were hiking, and since we were super hungry when we got to the top, the picnic lunch was as rewarding as the view.” —Cynnthia L., head of IT
25. Have a fancy dinner-and-a-movie friend date.
“When I was single, my friends from nursing school and I would go out together for a nice dinner and a movie at the Arclight theater in L.A. The most memorable year was when 50 Shades of Grey came out. Three of us got dressed up, ate dinner at a nice restaurant, and then shared popcorn while we watched the steamy movie—a true Galentine’s Day! We worked so hard in nursing school so it was a rare and special night of unwinding and treating ourselves—such a good memory of a time when I only had myself to worry about and the freedom that came with that.” —Jennifer Z., nurse
26. Take a dance class.
“When I was traveling in Brazil I came across this really cool, lively style of partner dance called forró. So one year for Valentine’s Day, I found a local forró group that offered classes once a week. I took my girlfriend and we had the best time. The first part of the class was basic instruction, and the second half was partnering up to practice. Every few minutes the instructor would have you switch partners, which ended up being really fun because every time I got back to my girlfriend it felt extra special. We loved it so much, we started going every week!” —Manuel A., graphic artist
27. Have a Korean spa day with friends.
“Two years ago I had a ladies’ day at SoJo Spa Club—a grandiose Korean spa in New Jersey. You basically just wander around in robes and bathing suits all day, hopping from one hot tub to another, and then nap in various therapeutic saunas. The outdoor baths were so magical (even in 10-degree February weather) and the heated rooftop infinity pool overlooks the river and the Manhattan skyline—so dreamy at night. They had a fantastic food court, too. We all got noodle soups and gifted each other sheet masks. It was super fun and a nice reminder of how important it is to show yourself some love.” —Dawn M., event planner
28. Have a day out with your dog.
“One year on Valentine’s Day, when I had just moved back to L.A., I decided to pack my dog Guy up in the car and go on an adventure to Ojai, which isn’t too far outside the city. We went to a bookstore first, where I picked up Tom Robbins’ Jitterbug Perfume, then took a hike in the hills up to Meditation Mount, this beautiful meditation center. Then I changed clothes and had dinner on the patio of this incredible Italian restaurant, Osteria Monte Grappa. The staff loved Guy and even brought me free dessert! When it got cold, we drove home. It was one of my favorite days.” —Sam B., actor/director/yoga teacher
29. Make some art.
“One year after a breakup, I bought myself some flowers and had a pop-up poet write me a poem. I gave her a very specific prompt about a memory of orange trees blossoming and she did a beautiful job—she nailed it to the point that I was crying. Afterward, I walked around and shot film photos of orange trees. Very melodramatic, I know, but I was looking for ways to express my tough feelings, so I turned them into art.” —Ashley T., writer
30. Take a solo trip.
“I took myself to a cool hotel, just out of town, for Valentine’s Day night: the Parker in Palm Springs. I wore a bathrobe, ordered room service, watched ridiculous cable TV, and enjoyed a giant, clean, comfy bed all to myself. It was so fun to have an excuse to do something I normally wouldn’t—and it was short enough that I could fit it into my schedule, but just long enough that it felt like I truly got away.” —Chris P.*
31. Go rollerskating.
“One of the best Valentine’s activities I’ve ever done is go rollerskating. It’s really fun and you can bring your single friends! The first time I went was in San Francisco at a little pop-up roller skating rink in the Mission; they were doing a disco-themed skate night. My friend and I got super dressed up in head-to-toe metallic spandex and rented skates at the venue. The DJ played an eclectic mix—MGMT, Abba, the BeeGees—and there were tons of elaborately dressed queer folks, which made it feel extra festive (and community affirming).” —Remy R., writer
32. Learn falconry.
“My husband loves dinosaurs, so I decided to give him the next best thing: a falconry lesson where we got to hang with raptors—huge, incredible birds of prey. The school was in the mountains outside of San Diego, so it was really beautiful. Most of the lesson was educational—about the birds and how they live—but at the end, the instructor gives you a protective glove and a little piece of meat, and this enormous raptor lands on your hand. It was fun to get out of the city, it was totally unconventional, and it was also just really cool.” —Meg W., photographer
33. Give your partner some sacred alone time.
“There was one Valentine’s Day when I knew my wife really needed some alone time more than anything (we have a kid, so it’s in short supply). When she got home from work, I surprised her with her ideal setup: snacks by the bed, Queer Eye queued up on the TV, a pile of magazines, and a fancy candle burning.” —Justin K., creative director
34. Have a Valentine’s Day-themed horror movie night.
“My husband, Jimmy, and I are big horror fans. So last year we chose to watch romantic, Valentine’s-themed horror movies on Valentine’s Day. We watched the original My Bloody Valentine, 2001’s Valentine, and The Love Witch, though there are plenty more in this genre to choose from! I also like to go all out with a themed spread, so I made a heart-shaped lasagna, a mini wedding cake, and heart-shaped charcuterie.” —Marie L., freelance writer
35. Host a love-letter writing party.
“As part of a women’s meet-up group I used to run, I helped my friend host a Valentine’s Day event called “A Love Letter to Friendship.” She supplied crafting supplies (paper, markers, stickers, glitter, envelopes, stamps) for guests who didn’t bring their own, and there were themed foods and drinks on hand. For the first hour-ish, we talked as a group about the importance of friendship in our lives. For the second hour, we spent time writing letters to some of our closest friends, letting them know how much we love and appreciate them, and then addressed and stamped them to be mailed. And finally, we spent a little time writing “love letters” to ourselves. I still have mine, and I set an alert reminding me to read it to myself one year after the event. It was really lovely to take that time to pause and tell my best friends that I love them—something I really don’t do enough, even though they know it’s true. It was also nice to meaningfully focus on the importance of friendships—some of the most crucial relationships in my life.” —Malia G., SELF editor
*Name has been changed
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Source: SELF
