EXCLUSIVE: ‘All I could see at the time was darkness!’ Georgia Kousoulou details struggling with postnatal depression and feeling ‘sad’ after celebrating her son’s first birthday
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Georgia Kousoulou has spoken out after feeling emotional around her son Brody’s first birthday and how she struggled with postnatal depression.
The Georgia & Tommy: Baby Steps star, 30, welcomed Brody with fiancé Tommy Mallet, 29, last year, with the couple celebrating his first birthday earlier this month.
But former TOWIE cast member Georgia is ‘sad’ that she now feels like she has ‘lost my baby’ after she dealt with the baby blues after giving birth.
Opening up: Georgia Kousoulou has spoken out after feeling emotional around her son Brody’s first birthday
Georgia exclusively told MailOnline: ‘I can’t believe Brody is one. It is so sad. It is sad. People don’t say it is sad but it is sad. No one tells you how sad it is.’
The television personality continued: ‘When you look through the photos and do a video montage of your child you are like: “I have lost my baby.”
‘I looked at Brody today and I was like: “what have you done with my baby, you’ve eaten him.”‘
Cute: The Georgia & Tommy: Baby Steps star, 30, welcomed Brody with fiancé Tommy Mallet, 29, last year, with the couple celebrating his first birthday earlier this month
Georgia went on to explain how her little boy has become more of a ‘mate’ now since he is bigger but at the time ‘could only see darkness’.
She added: ‘I love him and his personality, he is like my mate now.’
Reflecting on when she first welcomed Brody into the world, the TV star admitted she ‘hated’ having a newborn and wished the time away.
She added: ‘When I look through the photos I thought newborn was so bad and I hated it but I look back and I think “ahhh was it that bad?”
Growing up: But former TOWIE cast member Georgia is ‘sad’ that she now feels like she has ‘lost my baby’ following battling postnatal depression
‘You always forget it though. You always remember the good stuff. I was wishing for this stage, I was wishing it away and now I am at this stage I am like… eeeek.’
Georgia has not found the first 12 months of Brody’s life easy, saying her depression and inability to form a loving bond with her baby at first sent her to a ‘dark place’.
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She admitted she was overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and shame for not feeling an emotional bond with her newborn son immediately after his birth.
‘All I could see at the time was darkness. I thought it doesn’t feel like a phase.
‘I am thankful for myself. Really thankful. I am. I thank myself and go, “you have done an amazing job.”
‘I feel like I am really happy that Brody is one but I am also quite sad.’
Happier times: Georgia went on to explain how her little boy has become more of a ‘mate’ now since he is bigger but at the time ‘could only see darkness’
Georgia’s first scan had showed that Brody was in the breech position so she opted for a C-section in favour of the water birth she had been planning.
She said the procedure made it harder for her to bond with Brody once he was born and she attempted to hide her feelings from partner Tommy but he sensed something was wrong and staged an intervention.
She often slink away to cry in the bathroom and was ‘ashamed’ to tell Tommy about what she’d been going through when he sat down to talk to her.
Businessman Tommy arranged for Georgia’s mother and her midwife to be there at the time and, while she admits she was ‘shocked’, she said it was ‘such a relief’ as she did not have to hide anymore.
In love: Tommy proposed to Georgia while on holiday in Mexico in February this year, with the couple yet to set a date for their wedding
The star grew in confidence as she confronted her difficulties, sharing her experience with her fans on social media, with the star adding how grateful she was for their support.
Tommy asked Georgia to marry him in February this year while on holiday in Mexico.
And Georgia is planning multiple hen dos with the star saying in a recent episode of her ITVBe show that she doesn’t want ‘anywhere civilised’.
An excited Georgia said at her engagement party: ‘I feel like this is a warm up for the hen!’, before asking pals how many parties should she have before walking down the aisle with Tommy.
‘I think you need at least four’, her friend Chloe decided as fellow pal Amber agreed: ‘And one abroad and at least two here.’
When one suggested the south of France Georgia exclaimed: ‘No, I don’t want anywhere civilised.’
Family: Georgia and Tommy rose to fame on The Only Way Is Essex and now star in their own ITVBe show together
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Source: Daily Mail
