Michelle Heaton has revealed she felt so lost in the depths of her addiction troubles that she didn’t feel ‘worthy of anything’.
The former HearSay star, 42, says she lost her sense of self-worth during the height of her alcohol and drug addictions, and she now thinks she’s lucky to have survived her health struggle.
She told new! magazine: ‘I didn’t think I deserved anything. I think that’s the thing with addiction, you don’t feel worthy of anything.
Lost: Michelle Heaton, 42, felt so lost in the depths of her addiction troubles that she didn’t feel ‘worthy of anything’, adding that she’s lucky to have survived her struggle
‘That’s why you drink, because you want the pain to end. That’s the reality of addiction.’
Michelle, who recently celebrated 100 days of sobriety, added: ‘It was exhausting. I couldn’t stop and I was fighting it but still drinking, and I was being sick. I was very ill.’
Michelle confessed that her addiction issues led her to lose self-confidence and she says she is now taking her sober life one day at a time.
Hell on earth: Michelle, who recently celebrated 100 days of sobriety, added: ‘It was exhausting. I couldn’t stop and I was fighting it but still drinking, and I was being sick.’
The former Liberty X star – who is mother to Faith, nine, and AJ, seven, with husband Hugh Hanley – spent four weeks at the Priory clinic as she battled her addictions.
And Michelle admits that Hugh has played a huge role in her recovery, admitting her world ‘would have fallen apart’ without him.
The pop star likened her days in the Priory to the film One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest, saying she felt like she was going insane while in the facility in her early days.
Saving grace: Michelle admits her world would have fallen apart if her husband Hugh Hanley hadn’t have stayed by her side throughout her troubles
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However, she expressed her gratitude for her time in the hospital and has now adopted a more disciplined lifestyle, thanks to her husband which she thinks has been beneficial to her.
She explained that Hugh has her up and out of bed early each day to exercise and how she goes to bed early now after a shower to watch Love Island.
Last month, Michelle revealed the shocking impact her addiction had on her hair.
Sharing before and after photos after paying a visit to a salon, the former singer said: ‘This was filmed only this morning, That’s the harsh reality of what my hair became.’
The star documented the poor condition her brown tresses were in when she arrived at a London salon.
Michelle told her followers: ‘It’s funny (not really funny) but still funny, how stress … hormones … alcohol … drugs … diet … fitness all effects the hair!’ [sic]
Brittle: Last month, Michelle revealed the shocking impact her addiction had on her hair as long term damage had been done to her body from drinking
The singer admitted earlier this year that long term damage had been done to her body from drinking as much as a bottle of vodka, two bottles of wine and snorting cocaine every day since 2018.
‘What I was doing was a suicide mission. I was crying out for help when I couldn’t actually ask for help. When you’re an addict, it feels like there’s no way out’ she told The Sun, just 36 hours after leaving rehab.
The star has said on social media that Hugh has been her ‘rock, best friend and biggest supporter’ throughout the ordeal.
Honest: The star was ‘close to death’ following a three-year binge, and her husband Hugh has been her ‘rock’ throughout the ordeal (pictured with their children Faith, nine, and AJ, seven)
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