Bella Hadid has opened up about her battle with mental illness and revealed that she would wake up ‘hysterically crying’ every morning for three years.
During a new interview with the April issue of U.S. Vogue, Bella, 25, spoke candidly about suffering from depression, anxiety and burnout among other things during her rise to the top in the modelling industry.
At the height of her struggle, Bella spent more than two weeks at a treatment facility in Tennessee after suffering exhaustion due to professional pressure, recalling how she would ‘cry at lunch in her little greenroom’.
Tough time: Bella Hadid has opened up about her battle with mental illness and revealed that she would wake up ‘hysterically crying’ every morning for three years
Bella explained: ‘For three years while I was working, I would wake up every morning hysterical, in tears, alone. I wouldn’t show anybody that. I would go to work, cry at lunch in my little greenroom, finish my day, go to whatever random little hotel I was in for the night, cry again, wake up in the morning, and do the same thing.’
The sister of Gigi and Anwar Hadid explained that she ‘didn’t know what she was crying about’, which would cause her to be even harder on herself, due to people online asking what she had to complain about in her Instagram-ready life.
Bella revealed how in January 2021 she suffered ‘burnout’, as she described the ‘trauma-response’ of people-pleasing and feeling sick to her stomach if she had to leave somewhere after upsetting someone.
After working 15 days in a row, Bella explained: ‘I became manic. I bleached my hair. I looked like a troll doll. Then I dyed it—it looked like a sunrise. That should have been the first sign.’
Cover girl: During a new interview with the April issue of U.S. Vogue , Bella, 25, spoke candidly about suffering from depression, anxiety and burnout among other things
The star believes that she has worked 350 days a year for the past seven years, but for the first time in her career she cancelled her professional commitments in order to focus on herself.
During her stay at the facility, Bella added the two mainstays of Western psychiatry, talk therapy and medication, to her otherwise holistic regimen.
In November, Bella again spoke openly about her battle with mental health issues in a series of tearful selfies shared to Instagram.
She wrote a lengthy caption in attempts to relate to her millions of social media followers after praising Willow Smith for publicly discussing her own mental health on her platforms.
Bella, the youngest daughter of former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Yolanda Hadid, noted that ‘social media is not real’ as she shared nine teary-eyed photos while connecting with her fans.
Open: In November, Bella again spoke openly about her battle with mental health issues in a series of tearful selfies shared to Instagram
Bella tagged Willow in the caption: ‘I Love you and your words. It made me feel a little less alone and that’s why I’d like to post this.’
‘Sometimes all you’ve gotta hear is that you’re not alone. So from me to you, you’re not alone,’ she wrote. ‘I love you, I see you, and I hear you. Self help and mental illness/chemical imbalance is not linear and it is almost like a flowing rollercoaster of obstacles… it has its ups and downs , and side to sides.’
‘But I want you to know, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and the rollercoaster always comes to a complete stop at some point.
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Candid: She wrote a lengthy caption in attempts to relate to her millions of social media followers after praising Willow Smith for publicly discussing her own mental health
Candid: ‘Sometimes all you’ve gotta hear is that you’re not alone. So from me to you, you’re not alone,’ she wrote. ‘I love you, I see you, and I hear you’
‘(There is always room for it to start up again, but for me it’s always been nice to know that even if it’s a few days, weeks, or months, it does get better, to some extent, even for a moment.)
She added: ‘It took me a long time to get that in my mind , but I’ve had enough breakdowns and burnouts to know this: if you work hard enough on yourself, spending time alone to understand your traumas , triggers, joys, and routine, you will always be able to understand or learn more about your own pain and how to handle it.
‘Which is all that you can ask of yourself. Anyways. Not sure why but it feels harder and harder to not share my truth on here. Thank you for seeing me and thank you for listening. I love you.’
Struggling: Bella, the youngest daughter of former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Yolanda Hadid, noted that ‘social media is not real’ as she shared nine teary-eyed photos while connecting with her fans
It wasn’t first time Bella’s disclosed mental health issues.
In an interview with Vogue published earlier this year, Hadid gave insight into her first few years modeling and public reception to her straight-faced expression.
‘People used to make fun of me and say that I never smiled,’ she said. ‘It was just because I was in a really bad place physically and mentally.’
She told Glamour in 2019 that her depression and anxiety were crippling and she was ’emotionally unstable’ when she was working 14-hour days for four-months straight as an 18-year-old in the industry.
The long haul: In an interview with Vogue published earlier this year, Hadid gave insight into her first few years modeling and public reception to her straight-faced expression
‘I would cry every single morning, I would cry during my lunch breaks, I would cry before I slept,’ she said.
‘I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed. It doesn’t make sense.’
She has since been on a mission to destigmatize mental health issues.
‘I feel like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I didn’t speak about something such as mental health, because that’s pretty much what I’ve been going through for the past five years very intensely,’ she told the publication. Now we’re here and we’re good, but it took a while.’
Vogue’s April 2022 issue is available on newsstands nationwide on March 29th.
‘People used to make fun of me and say that I never smiled,’ she said. ‘It was just because I was in a really bad place physically and mentally’
Source: Daily Mail
