Shower sex has a reputation for being this hot, steamy fantasy, but no one ever tells you how to have shower sex that’s, well, actually sexy. Unfortunately, most real-life shower sex is vastly overrated and possibly filled with slips, trips, falls, or at least several awkward attempts to position yourself in a small tub or shower stall.
More often that not, shower sex is anything but glorious. Like pool sex and sex on the beach, it sounds super hot in theory but turns out to be terribly uncomfortable in practice. But those collective shower sex fantasies can’t be for naught. So we consulted some experts to discover if it’s possible to have shower sex that isn’t scary, awkward, painful, or dangerous. Here’s what experts have to say about how to have shower sex that’s actually as sexy (and safe) as it is in your fantasies.
How to have safe shower sex
As much as romance novels and CW shows want you to think shower sex is a seamless jump from rubbing suds all over each other to breathtaking orgasms, the logistics are often a lot more complicated. There’s a reason we don’t do anything athletic in the shower: Wet enamel and tile tend to be slippery. The number one safety concern with shower sex is falling down, Monica Grover, D.O., medical director at Asira Medical, tells SELF. And, sure, it’s possible to pull off spontaneous shower sex that doesn’t follow the safety guidelines below. But it’s also possible to really hurt yourself giving that a try.
To avoid that, here are a few safety tips for how to have shower sex safely:
When in doubt, keep both feet on the ground.
It can be tempting to get creative in the shower. Since you’re in a confined space, your go-to positions may no longer work. And before you know it, you might find yourself attempting to stand on the rim of the bathtub. But trust us, you want to start with something simple. “It doesn’t sound sexy, but you and your partner need to keep your feet on the ground,” Idries Abdur-Rahman, M.D., ob-gyn at Vista Health System, tells SELF. This will help you maintain your balance, decreasing your risk of falling. If standing isn’t working for you, consider sitting or lying down, Dr. Abdur-Rahman says. Depending on the size of your shower, you might even be able to get into missionary, which is inherently cooler than regular missionary when you’re all steamy and slippery. (But, please, if you’re putting a ton of your body right up against shower surfaces, only do it if said surfaces are actually clean enough.)
Oh, and if you drop soap on the floor, pick it up promptly, says Miriam Greene, M.D., ob-gyn at NYU Langone Health. This seems pretty straightforward, but Dr. Greene emphasized this point a couple of times in our interview. Keeping both feet on the ground won’t do you much good if the floor is covered in slippery soap.
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Find some support.
If you happen to have a shower seat, use it to your advantage, Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a licensed sex therapist and Lovehoney sex-and-relationship expert, tells SELF. Play around with seated sex positions—it’s way harder to fall when you’re sitting down.
Another tip we heard over and over again from experts: Invest in a solid bath mat—one of those textured, rubbery ones that adhere to the floor of your shower. Added friction equals added safety. If you’re standing, the mat will help you better grip the floor. And if you’re sitting, kneeling, or lying down, it’ll make your situation a lot more comfortable.
Also, don’t be afraid to use your shower walls for support, suggests Dr. Green. Walls are especially great for leaning against when it comes to standing sex, though you could also find other, more creative ways to incorporate them into your routine.
Incorporate more tools if you dare.
If you’re really invested in having shower sex, consider buying bars for support. You can have a handyperson come install them in your shower (which can be a great investment if you’re otherwise worried about falling in the shower too) or you can buy temporary, suction-on rails and footrests. Dr. Grover recommends these for anyone interested in trying shower sex, but footrests are an especially good idea if you want to try more ambitious positions. You can suction them anywhere on your shower wall so you can hike up one leg and have something to put your foot on. In that case, handrails would offer even more support, letting you grab onto something that’s not a slippery shower wall or a less-than-sturdy curtain rod.
Source: SELF
