I read the recent Observer Cash article “I was abused twice, first by my partner and then by my bank”, and I want to ask your advice as I am in a very similar position.
I am stuck in a house that I can’t sell, or move out of, because my abusive ex-partner refuses to talk to the mortgage company.
We separated more than five years ago, and I was forced to go to the family court. As a result, he is banned from entering the property that my son and I occupy.
The problem is we were not married, and the joint mortgage is in both our names.
In the five years that we have been separated I have made him five buyout offers, and tried to sell twice – all of which he has blocked. He does it as a way to continue exerting control over us.
In 2020, the fixed-rate mortgage with Halifax finished and we went on to a flexible rate. At every increase I was covering the difference.
After I begged Halifax (which I have been speaking to frequently about this) to help me move to a fixed rate, it recognised the financial abuse and arranged this for me.
However, the lease on the property, which is a flat, is decreasing each year, it needs repairs and upkeep, and without his engagement I am stuck. I can’t buy him out and I can’t sell. KB, by email
Having dealt with this case, and the previous one you mentioned, I have come to the conclusion that the law needs to be updated to aid people – mostly women – who find themselves in this awful position.
If you were married, the property would have been dealt with as part of the divorce settlement. The fact that you were not means that you are pretty much left with one option: to go to a court to ask it to order a forced sale.
Sadly, this will mean further, and significant, legal fees. You may find that if you go down this route – and your partner realises that you are serious – he may decide that it is in his financial interests to agree to a settlement. Let’s hope so.
As more unmarried couples’ relationships break down, increasing numbers of women will find themselves in this boat. There has to be a better solution than currently exists.
