Name: Elbow room.

Age: As old as elbows.

Appearance: Unoccupied space between the medial epicondyles of two office workers.

Status: Expanding.

It doesn’t feel that way to me. At the moment it’s more of a recommendation than a phenomenon.

A recommendation from whom? The British Council for Offices (BCO). In its mission to achieve “the optimal level of office density”, the latest guidance suggests each worker should be allotted 12 sq metres of space, up from the 10 sq metres it was recommending as recently as June.

Why the extra room? Productivity. According to the BCO, overcrowding can have a negative impact on comfort, wellbeing and, ultimately, performance.

Tell me about it. It is hoped the new, lower-density recommendation will ensure that “most workspace issues and concerns are alleviated”.

READ RELATED: Woman, 23, who survived 2016 Brussels airport ISIS bomb is 'euthanised' in Belgium 

I don’t have a tape measure. How likely is it that I’m already getting 12 sq metres of elbow room at work? Not very. Between 2001 and 2018, the average amount of desk space shrunk by 36%, from 15 sq metres to just 9.6 sq metres.

That makes sense, since none of my workspace issues and concerns have been alleviated. What’s more, Britons are among the most cramped office workers in Europe. In Sweden, they get 20 sq metres of elbow room; in Finland, more than 30 sq metres.

How much space am I actually entitled to? The Health and Safety Executive suggests a bare minimum of 11 cubic metres in a room of average height, while conceding that the space taken up by office furniture and equipment might make this figure insufficient.

I wouldn’t mind my co-workers being that close if they were less annoying. That’s hard to incorporate into a design brief.

During the pandemic I worked in my bedroom – where my elbows touched both walls – and I’ve never been happier. This is at the heart of the new guidelines. Employees who have got used to hybrid working will have to be lured back to offices, and more room may be part of the enticement.

It’s not enough; I’d rather work in my car. The real winners here may be landlords – with more elbow room required for workers, companies will need to maintain office space even with fewer employees coming in.

But how will the sharp-elbowed among us advance their careers, with no one to dig their funny bones into? They’ll have to kick their way to the top.

Do say: “If you can hear me calling you an idiot under my breath, you’re too close.”

Don’t say: “This office is bigger than my flat. Would it be OK if I worked from home and slept here?”