22 Ways I Find Joy as a Black Momma

Every single morning when I wake up, before my feet even touch the ground, I make the conscious choice to embrace the joy that is my experience of Black motherhood. As a relatively new momma to an almost-one-year-old son, if I said that the past year has been a challenge it would be an understatement.

I never imagined that I would have my first child in the midst of a global pandemic that would separate me from my family, friends, coworkers, and yoga community. But I did have a baby during the pandemic, without my in-person support system. As I saw it, my only options were to crumble in self-pity and doubt—which I honestly did my fair share of—or to rise to meet the current moment and accept my circumstances in a way that I, as a Black woman, have had to countless times throughout my life.

Centering Black mothering joy is the best way for me to stay sane in these times and to take my power back. It helps shift my focus from the grim reality of the Black maternal mortality crisis in the U.S., the killing of our Black children at the hands of police, and the anti-Critical Race Theory campaigns attempting to erase accurate accounts of Black history in our country’s schools.

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That’s why, as an act of resistance, I want to present an alternative image of Black motherhood—one that thrives in unabashed joy. Below, you’ll find some of the moments that capture the physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual manifestations of the joy Black mothering brings me. If you’re a fellow Black momma, my hope is that you too will take the time to name the ways that you experience joy in your motherhood journey.

And if you aren’t a Black mother, I hope that you take time to celebrate any Black mommas in your life, and to recognize that it is our complex experiences in the world that can make us some of the most dynamic, beautiful, loving, and soulfully joyful mothers around.

Some of the Black mothering moments that bring me deep joy:

1. Seeing my son’s smiles and hearing his laughter. These are constant confirmations that I must be doing something right.
2. Watching my son hit his major milestones like rolling, crawling, and walking—this reminds me that I have a healthy baby.
3. Finally being proud of my C-section scar and feeling grateful that I was able to have a healthy delivery.
4. Spending quality time with my little man reading, playing, and strolling outside.
5. Those post-breastfeeding snuggles that give me an “everything in my life makes sense because it led to this present moment” feeling. And though breastfeeding has not been an easy journey for me, I’m so proud we have made it this far.
6. Cuddles. Cuddles. Cuddles. Listening to his breathing and synching it with mine, and feeling each individual heartbeat on my chest, are joyful feelings too immense for words.
7. Becoming a chill mom because life is too short to worry all of the time. As someone who experiences generalized anxiety, I feared that I would be an anxious Mom, but the opposite is actually true as my son reminds me that as long as we have health, shelter, food, and love, we’re thriving.
8. Singing “Yay for the day” every morning as we greet the day and look out the window.
9. My son’s sense of humor and knowing that he’s always ready for a tickle-fest.
10. Hearing his little voice say his first words and phrases. He’s very into words that start with the letter “B” right now. “Big ol’ button,” “boom boom boom,” and “black cat” are his current favorites.
11. Seeing him watch the press conference where President Biden nominated Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court of the United States. Knowing that he will grow up in a world where someone like his momma, who is also a Black female lawyer, sits on the highest court in the land means everything.
12. Listening to music with him and watching him dance and shake his tiny booty.
13. Learning to take time for myself and pour into my own spiritual cup so that I can pour into his.
14. Watching him enthusiastically and sweetly interact with my parents, brother, grandmother, and my partner’s parents—it makes my heart smile.
15. Listening to the sound of his toes tapping excitedly in his highchair as he smiles while waiting for his food.
16. His smell. He smells so amazing that each sniff is like a shot of serotonin to my soul.
17. Cooking for my family and finding comfort in eating for nourishment instead of just as a requirement to live. I am not a chef and I often get overwhelmed at the grocery store, but having my son has allowed me to build a wholesome diet for my family. I’ve found so much joy in introducing foods to him and having mealtime together.
18. Listening to him babble and talk to himself in his crib after he wakes up from a good nap. Knowing that he is content and happy is always a blessing.
19. Slowing down and enjoying the moment instead of rushing through life.
20. Meeting mom friends, especially Black mom friends, through Mocha Moms, Inc.
21. Watching him look outside at the bright blue sky, the sunset, or the moon in total amazement.
22. Feeling like every experience is amplified. For example, I just celebrated my first birthday as a momma, and it was the best one I’ve ever had because I got to share it with my little man. We went to the National Mall in Washington, D.C., and I got to show him the monuments—the same ones I’d seen a million times before but this time was so special because he was in complete awe. It was like seeing everything for the first time, through his eyes.

Source: SELF