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Beyond Love

oi-Prerna Aditi


on August 31, 2020

Breakups are never easy as it can take a toll on both the partners.. The moment one of the partners understands that their relationship is not working out and decides that it is better to split ways, that realisation itself is quite heartbreaking. Eventually, you break ties with your partner and part your ways, but the incidents and memories attached to them play over and over again in your mind.

Being overwhelmed by your intense feelings, you may end up stalking your ex partner, texting them or even calling them at times. And these need to stop, if you plan to move on. We have curated nine post-breakup mistakes that you need to avoid.

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1. Jumping Into A Rebound Relationship

A rebound relationship may help you to get over your breakup but do you know that it can be a bad choice as well. There is a high chance that you will develop some liking for a person who shows even a small amount of care to you. Not only this but you may also find yourself in his/her arms for which you may regret later. You may have some expectations from your new partner and you may realise that he/she is not the one you wanted to have. Therefore, it is better that you give yourself time before entering into a new relationship right after your breakup.

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2. Having A Closure Talk Too Soon

Those who don’t know, a closure talk means when two people come together to talk maturely about their breakup and say things that they would have said while ending their relationship. The closure talk usually consists of apologies and forgiveness. The closure talks can help you in leaving behind the grudges as well.

Though having a closure talk can help you in being on good terms with each other, it can create further problems as well, especially if you still haven’t moved on. You may end up accusing each other and playing the blame game. Instead of being too eager to have a closure talk, it is advisable that you first give yourself some time and realise what happened and if you could have avoided it.

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3. Stalking Your Ex On Social Media

If you are busy stalking your ex-partner and his/her new partner over social media platforms, then you need to stop right there. This is because every happy post on your ex-partner’s account will work as a knife across your heart. You may need a strong pain to completely detach yourself from your ex-partner but there’s nothing wise in scrolling through your ex-partner’s pictures and posts and feeling acerbic. You may feel betrayed and this can really affect you emotionally and mentally.

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4. Expressing Your Emotions On Social Media

Posting sad quotes and airing your grief online is hands down the worst post-breakup mistakes that you can do. To be honest, nobody is going to acknowledge your broken heart and therefore, by screaming about your heart break and accusing your ex-partner in an indirect way on social media won’t help you in moving on. It may make you feel better for some moments but this is not the solution to the problem. Instead, you can write down your emotions or speak to a trusted friend. This will surely heal your broken heart in a short period of time.

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5. Isolating Yourself From The Outside World

We understand that you may want to stay hidden from the world with your puffy eyes and emotional breakdown. This can be absolutely fine for a day or two but if you are staying locked inside your room for over a week and are only shedding tears over your breakup, then this is one of the worst post-breakup mistakes that you can do. Breakups don’t mean your life has come to an end. You need to come out of your gloominess and live a normal life as you did before. Else, you may not be able to get over your breakup easily.

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6. Seeking Revenge From Your Ex

Your breakup can fill you with negative thoughts and extreme agitation. You may stress your mind to figure out why you weren’t perfect for your ex-partner. In no time, you consider yourself the victim and this can make you believe that you need to seek revenge. Posting the screenshots of your private chats, sensitive pictures and videos of your ex-partner may make you feel better for a moment or two but then this can make you land in grave danger. This will showcase you as a toxic and revenge-seeking partner who didn’t respect the integrity of the relationship. Instead of doing so, you need to maintain the same trust and faith that you shared in your relationship.

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7. Drunk Dialing Your Ex

So, if TV series and movies have made you believe that you need alcohol to move on after your breakup, then just discard this idea and take professional help. . You may have the urge to speak to your partner after you have gulped bottles of alcohol. You may even dial your ex-partner’s number and speak your heart out stating you miss him/her. And what makes it worse is the regret that comes after drunk dialing your ex-partner.

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8. Comparing Yourself With Your Ex’s Current Partner

You may think there’s no harm in comparing yourself to your ex-partner’s new partner but this is where you lead to self-destruction. The moment you compare yourself to someone else, this shows that you aren’t happy with who you are. It is quite essential to understand that trying to be someone else can turn your life upside-down. You may have to eat, dress, walk and talk in a way that is way too different from your lifestyle. This may eventually reduce your self-esteem and confidence.

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9. Blaming Yourself For The Reason Behind Breakup

It is quite good to realise the mistakes that you committed in your relationship. But constantly blaming yourself for the breakup can really take a toll on your mental and emotional health. We are not saying that you need to avoid admitting your mistakes but then what’s the point in punishing and being harsh to yourself? Instead, you can try to bring some positive changes in yourself and be a better human. You can take a cue from your mistakes and move on in your life.

We hope you will be able to deal with your breakup in a mature way. You don’t have to change your hairstyle or listen to sad songs. Instead you need to explore new places, read some good books and most importantly take care of yourself.

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Story first published: Monday, August 31, 2020, 18:00 [IST]

Source: boldsky blog