Nadia Sawalha has opened up on her husband Mark Adderley’s recent bipolar episode in which she says she felt ‘powerless’ to help.
Mark, 51, whom Nadia married in 2002, was diagnosed with the brain disorder in June last year following a ‘terribly frightening, major breakdown’ which Nadia described as ‘deepest depression I have ever seen in anyone’.
And speaking candidly on their How To Stay Married (So Far) podcast, the Loose Women star, 57, admitted it was ‘absolutely petrifying’ seeing Mark slip into a dark place mentally.
Difficult time: Nadia Sawalha has opened up on her husband Mark Adderley’s recent bipolar episode in which she says she felt ‘powerless’ to help
After having previously witnessed Mark’s ‘truly awful’ ordeal last year, Nadia spoke of her anguish at seeing Mark suffer again in recent weeks, with the star commenting that his episode was partially triggered by the recent events in the news, namely the Vladimir Putin’s invasion of the Ukraine and the subsequent threat of a nuclear war.
Detailing how she felt during the ‘difficult few weeks’, Nadia explained: ‘As the partner of someone who is suffering like that, it is awful. It is horrendous, I am not going to lie.
‘I go off to Loose Women and smiling and inside, there is a number of times when I was really scared. It is really, really scary.’
Tough: Mark, 51, whom Nadia married in 2002, was diagnosed with the brain disorder in June last year following a ‘terribly frightening, major breakdown’ which Nadia described as ‘deepest depression I have ever seen in anyone’
Addressing her husband, she continued: ‘You talk about how you weren’t deep enough not to feel the numbness. But also witnessing that. Really witnessing that a number of times… coming in and you just sitting, emptied out.
‘It was absolutely petrifying. Because nothing can work to bring you any light, I can’t bring any light into the room.
‘So, in a way it is very clear and in a way it is very unclear because I got thrown. The only thing I can do is be a constant. That is the only thing I do.
‘I am powerless. I did the serenity prayer over that week saying: “I am powerless.”
Nadia then added: ‘All I can do is let him know that I love him. That is what I do.’
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The former EastEnders actress went on to talk about how her love for her husband and how it because of that love that she has ‘no choice’ but to support him and be his rock no matter what.
She went on: ‘What I will also say is… when somebody that you love is in a lot of pain. If you really love them there are no choices.
‘The choice is that somebody that you love is in absolute dire straits, and what would you do other than be there to hold them in whatever way you need to hold them.
‘The complicated thing about this is… If that had gone on for another week and another week and another week as some peoples’ depression does, it is about managing that as a partner.
‘It is about looking after that person, holding that person, holding yourself.
‘And that is why it is so important and that is why I am so lucky that I have good friends. I don’t talk in the depth that I am feeling because it is too much.
‘But I can say… if someone says: “how are you?” I can say: “I am ok but I am really worried about Mark because he is so unhappy or he is struggling”.
She added: ‘I am really proud of us as a couple’.
In the depths of Mark’s depression, Nadia also admitted that she feared that she wouldn’t get her husband back.
Hard to see: speaking candidly on their How To Stay Married (So Far) podcast , the Loose Women star, 57, admitted it was ‘absolutely petrifying’ seeing Mark slip into a dark place mentally (pictured in 2020)
The TV personality, who has always been honest and open about her personal life with fans, said on the podcast: ‘Looking at you and how lost you are in those days when you feel like that, yeah I can only imagine how scary that must be.
‘It is scary for me and I am not you.
‘It is really scary, there were a couple of times when I stopped and go: “what if he doesn’t come back?”
‘I am not talking about suicide I am talking about what if he doesn’t come back. You kind of left the building.’
Candid: Detailing how she felt during the ‘difficult few weeks’, Nadia explained: ‘As the partner of someone who is suffering like that, it is awful. It is horrendous, I am not going to lie’ (pictured in 2018)
Nadia, who shares daughters Maddy, 19, and 14-year-old Kiki with the TV producer, went on to say how pleased she is that mental health is more openly spoken about these days, confessing that she wouldn’t be able to cope if they had to keep things hidden.
She said: ‘I am really glad that I am living in an age where I can say… if I was having to deal with it all keeping it a total secret. I don’t know how I could do that.
‘Now I have witnessed the level of pain that goes on, of course I am glad that I am more informed than I ever was.
‘Us talking about it, I know it takes bravery and guts for us to keep talking about it. There is so much shame still attached to it and there shouldn’t be.’
For help call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
Honest and open: ‘It was absolutely petrifying. Because nothing can work to bring you any light, I can’t bring any light into the room’
Source: Daily Mail
