A young Australian woman penned a blog about her dreams of becoming a mum, years before she killed her baby daughter by laying her on train tracks.
Five-years-ago Melissa Arbuckle wrote about her then-successful and happy life as a well-respected veterinarian who travelled the world with her ‘cheeky’ husband.
However, the Victorian Supreme Court this week heard Ms Arbuckle had developed severe major postpartum depression and psychosis following the birth of her daughter Lily.
Sadly, she was diagnosed too late to save the life of her baby girl, with the ‘significantly disturbed’ mum lay her little girl on the train tracks in Upwey in Melbourne‘s east.
She was holding Lily at the time, and used the little girl’s hand to wave at the train, it was revealed at the Victorian Supreme Court, where she will be sentenced Thursday after pleading guilty to one count of infanticide.
Arbuckle kept a personal blog, where she journaled about trips overseas with her husband and her dreams of one day starting a family
Years before the horror, her life appeared to be very different.
Five years ago, she wrote a blog sharing her dream to have children with her partner, and described her devotion to ‘helping people and their pets’, her passion for volunteering through the ‘incredibly rewarding’ Scientist in Schools program and her love of hiking, snowboarding and running.
She reported that she had never been ‘unhappy’ and said, for her, happiness lay in the simple things in life, like ensuring bills are paid, spending time with loved ones and friends, and travelling often.
Reflecting on the new year in early 2017, she said the past 12 months had been the best in her life.
‘2016 was one of the most enjoyable and productive years of my life,’ she wrote.
‘I am so grateful for the experiences I had, my personal growth and the support and encouragement from my wonderful boyfriend.., my close friends and family.
‘I’ve never considered myself to be unhappy and I’m incredibly fortunate to be able to say that, but there are certainly ways to strive to live a happier life,’ Ms Arbuckle wrote.
She frequently posting about her ambitions and beliefs in the importance of maintaining good health.
In November of that year, she revealed she had undergone treatment after suffering from a condition affecting her uterus and how the incident had inspired her to begin taking her health seriously with the intention of one day having a family.
‘This trip to hospital was the beginning of my journey to start focusing on my health. I’m not getting any younger and I look forward to having a family of my own one day so I decided it’s time to take my health seriously,’ she wrote.
The couple’s life appeared to be filled with adventure, with Arbuckle sharing photos and stories about their travels across Australia and Japan.
Arbuckle worked at a veterinary clinic in inner eastern Melbourne for several years. She also wrote about her Italian background and love for cooking.
‘A diverse identity is important to me so I strive to always be more and am forever growing and learning,’ she wrote.
‘Growth is difficult but isn’t life so much more enjoyable when we challenge ourselves? Perhaps not at the time but certainly upon reflection.’
While the blog mostly had a positive tone she also wrote about her private battles.
‘I’m sensitive. Now that may be an understatement. I’m also a romantic and I’m proud to say it because for a long time I fought against it,’ she wrote.
‘I pride myself on being an independent woman who don’t need no man (but loves her man nonetheless!) and thought I had to be one or the other but I’m both!
‘I cry more than I would like because it often gets in the way of general life activities but when I experience something whether it’s pure joy or sadness I really feel it.
She also described the stress from her career as a vet.
‘Being a vet isn’t an easy job. Some days it can fill me with joy and fulfilment and other days with sadness,’ she explained.
‘The Australian Veterinary Association (AVA) outlines that recent Australian studies show that vets are four times more likely to commit suicide than the general population … Common causes of stress for vets include long working hours, interpersonal relationship issues and dealing with difficult clients.
‘To add to that I believe other factors such as isolation, lack of support and constantly managing people’s emotions and expectations contribute to the mental and overall health concerns of veterinarians today.’
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Years later, her life tragically started to decline as she battled postpartum depression after the birth of her child.
Arbuckle (pictured) worked at a veterinary clinic in inner eastern Melbourne for several years
Victoria’s Supreme Court this week heard that in the weeks before Lily’s death, Arbuckle had been ‘really down’ and believed she hurt the little girl after rocking her bassinet too vigorously, according to the summary read in court.
She started to believe the child had shaken baby syndrome as a result.
‘She had a fixed delusional belief she had harmed her child and they were both broken,’ Arbuckle’s lawyer Megan Tittensor said this week in court.
‘She had a perfectionist personality and need for control … she wanted to be the perfect mother.
‘She had come to believe dying was her only option. She would hear voices telling her she was a bad mother.’
The crown prosecutor, Robyn Harper told the court that on the day of the horror, Arbuckle’s sister and mother came to visit her three-month-old daughter, Lily.
Moments after the visit, Arbuckle texted her husband and said their daughter was ‘losing it after a feed’ and decided to take her for a walk, Harper told the court.
The mother laid the baby on the tracks in front of a moving train (stock image)
A train driver then spotted Arbuckle walking on the tracks at Upwey in Melbourne’s east.
The baby was struck and thrown under the carriage while Arbuckle was left with serious injuries.
Witnesses rushed to help the pair and helped to pull out the still breathing baby.
The baby was rushed to hospital, but died shortly after from head injuries.
Arbuckle will be sentenced on Thursday.
For confidential 24-hour support in Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or beyondblue 1300 22 4636.
For postpartum depression support call PANDA on 1300 726 306.
Source: Daily Mail
