‘I was going to die, but couldn’t stop’: Michelle Heaton shares throwback selfie and reflects on her addiction battle as she praises Vicky Pattison for ‘honest’ alcohol documentary

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Michelle Heaton has candidly reflected on her addiction battle as she praised Vicky Pattison for being ‘very honest’ in her new alcohol documentary.

The singer, 43, took to Instagram on Tuesday evening to share a throwback selfie of herself from more than 15 months ago when she was in ‘active addition’.

In a lengthy caption, she opened up about feeling like she was causing her husband Hugh Hanley and their kids Faith, ten, and AJ, eight, ‘pain’ amid her alcohol addiction.

Candid: Michelle Heaton has reflected on her alcohol addiction and shared a selfie from her addiction battle as she praised Vicky Pattison for being 'honest' in her alcohol documentary

Candid: Michelle Heaton has reflected on her alcohol addiction and shared a selfie from her addiction battle as she praised Vicky Pattison for being ‘honest’ in her alcohol documentary

Michelle candidly said that she was ‘going to die’ but felt ‘powerless’ and ‘couldn’t stop’ until she accepted that she was an addict and followed a 12-step programme.

Her comments came in response to watching Vicky Pattison’s Channel 4 documentary Alcohol, Dad And Me, which looks at her relationship with her father John, who has struggled with alcoholism for much of his life.

Michelle admitted that she saw herself in John’s battle with alcoholism as she praised the TV personality, 34, for being ‘very honest’ in her new documentary. 

She penned: ‘This WAS me over 15 months ago, In active addiction. As an addict, I couldn’t see, the turmoil, pain and hurt I caused my daughter, husband and loved ones.

Addiction: The singer, 43, took to Instagram on Tuesday evening to speak about her addiction, saying she was 'going to die' but felt 'powerless' and 'couldn't stop'

Addiction: The singer, 43, took to Instagram on Tuesday evening to speak about her addiction, saying she was ‘going to die’ but felt ‘powerless’ and ‘couldn’t stop’

‘Watching @vickypattison docu this evening hits a nerve for us as a family, of course, but more importantly Documentaries like this, are imperative to shine light on the disease of addiction and show you that you are not alone!

‘And I applaud that! If you or anyone you love is suffering there is help out there. And shows like this helps spread the word.

‘In MY experience similar to Vicky’s dad, I was never in control, I couldn’t stop even though I wanted to. I HATED it, but had to have it. Was going to die, but couldn’t stop. Could never be honest, with myself or others.

‘Over 15 months ago.. I began being honest. I accepted I was an addict and powerless.

‘In MY experience I’ve followed a twelve step programme.. that’s how I’m standing strong today.

Opening up: Her comments came in response to watching Vicky Pattison's documentary Alcohol, Dad And Me, which looks at her relationship with her alcoholic father John

Opening up: Her comments came in response to watching Vicky Pattison’s documentary Alcohol, Dad And Me, which looks at her relationship with her alcoholic father John

‘Today I live a life full of hope faith and courage .. it’s is possible … Well done @vickypattison darling very honest xx’

Commenting on her post, Vicky wrote: ‘Sending you nothing but love my girl.’ 

Michelle recently celebrated 14 months of sobriety after checking into The Priory in April last year in a bid to beat her alcohol addiction.

Speaking about going into the Priory in April 2021 to spend four weeks in rehabilitation, Michelle previously said: ‘I was so scared that day but I knew I had nothing left. I was trapped in the four walls of my disease and I had nowhere to turn.’ 

Her latest comments come as Vicky brought viewers to tears with her new Channel 4 documentary, which aired on Tuesday evening.

Family: She opened up about feeling like she was causing her husband Hugh Hanley and their kids Faith, ten, and AJ, eight, 'pain' during her alcohol addiction battle

Family: She opened up about feeling like she was causing her husband Hugh Hanley and their kids Faith, ten, and AJ, eight, ‘pain’ during her alcohol addiction battle

The former Geordie Shore star broke into a sweat when she watched old footage of herself drunk on the programme. 

The documentary also looked at Vicky’s relationship with her father John, who has struggled with alcoholism for much of his life.

His relationship with booze worsened after he retired from the civil service to the point where he was drinking vodka every morning and was hospitalised with cirrhosis of the liver.

His addiction caused the breakdown of his marriage of 30 years to Vicky’s mother Carroll, who admitted she doesn’t know how he is still alive. 

Emotional: Her latest comments come as Vicky brought viewers to tears with her new Channel 4 documentary, which aired on Tuesday evening

Emotional: Her latest comments come as Vicky brought viewers to tears with her new Channel 4 documentary, which aired on Tuesday evening

During the show, Vicky said in a voiceover of her own relationship with booze: ‘Three or four drinks and I’m sociable, fun and I can function the next day. 

‘Any more and I don’t know when to stop. I’d go so far as to say I can’t stop.’

Her candour impressed viewers, with many taking to social media to say the programme made them emotional.

Other viewers who have alcoholism in their family said they related to the documentary and thanked Vicky for making it.

One Twitter user wrote: ‘Just watched Vicky Pattison documentary. So so brave to tell this story. There is such a stigma attached to alcoholism and more help is needed. Well done Vicky xxxx’.

Reaction: Her candour impressed viewers, with many taking to social media to say the programme made them emotional

Reaction: Her candour impressed viewers, with many taking to social media to say the programme made them emotional

Another said: ‘Well that had me crying with you. So relatable, so very brave and I am sure it will help lots of people going through it.’ 

Another added: ‘Thanks Vicky Pattison for sharing your story so honestly – we should all talk more openly about some of the problems alcohol can cause in our lives. I’m sure your story will help plenty of people!’

One viewer said: ‘I found this a really moving and self aware portait of your relationship with your dad and alcohol, and I really hope we get to see more of you on tv in this way, you speak so eloquently. I wish you both well on your journey.’

Another wrote: ‘#AlcoholDadAndMe hit me right in the feels. I love and miss you dad and I know you didn’t choose that life.’

Heartbreaking: Her father John's addiction caused the breakdown of his marriage of 30 years to Vicky's mother Carroll, who admitted she doesn't know how he is still alive

Heartbreaking: Her father John’s addiction caused the breakdown of his marriage of 30 years to Vicky’s mother Carroll, who admitted she doesn’t know how he is still alive

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