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The law may be rigid, but it should always take into account someone’s pronouns. That seems to be the alleged message of a law school in Iowa.

According to a photo posted to Twitter by Young America’s Foundation, the University of Iowa’s (UI) College of Law included pronoun education in its August orientation.

The image features a slide displayed on a giant screen at the front of a spacious classroom. And the lesson uses the opportunity of a dark and stormy night.

“Take turns telling a story about someone who uses one of the following pronoun series,” it says.

The options:

  • They/Them/Theirs
  • Ze/Hir/Hirs
  • Ze/Zem/Zirs

See if you can fill in the blanks like an educated lawyer:

It was a dark and stormy night. ______ was on ______ way to a meeting. ______ forgot ______ umbrella and was upset with ______.

We’re living in truly transformative times. Contemporary college instruction may resemble first-grade offerings of old:

Apparently, America’s age-appropriate reset goes all the way down to elementary school. These days, fourth graders are still using coloring books.

Academica may not teach the exact same things you learned:

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As for neopronouns, they’re seemingly the era’s supremely virtuous symbols:

‘Per Loves Perself’: University Schools Students on ‘Why Pronouns Matter’ for ‘Folx’

Ivy League School Issues a Pronoun Mandate, Tells Students to Report Each Other for Infractions

READ RELATED: Booming still: US adds 528K jobs in July

19th Century Bank Adds Pronouns to Teller Name Tags, Invites Unwoke Customers to Close Their Accounts

Christian Church Leads Prayer to the ‘God of Pronouns,’ the ‘Great They/Them’ Who Breastfeeds

Back to the University of Iowa, Campus Reform notes the law school’s lesson drew criticism online:

One user commented, “Where absurdity becomes the rule, madness is never far behind.”

Another commented, “At this point, this stuff is just plain indoctrination. Like I don’t understand why higher education and the Left obsess over pronouns.”

“Reprogramming,” a third user shared.

UI may be vying for wokeness, but there’s a rather large elephant in the room: In catering to hir and zem, it’s only drawn attention to a lack of inclusion. At minimum, the school should’ve incorporated all of these:

  • Co, co, cos, cos, coself
  • En, en, ens, ens, enself
  • Ey, em, eir, eirs, emself
  • Xie, hir, hir, hirs, herself
  • Ve, vis, ver, ver, verself
  • Yo, yo, yos, yos, yoself

Surely some would still decry the absence of bunself, vampself, and kittenself.

If the University of Iowa is going to expand beyond “him” and “her,” it should really do its due diligence before riffing on “a dark and stormy night.” After all, who’s to say that umbrella wasn’t forgotten by a flamingo?–

-ALEX

See more content from me:

‘Your Founder Would Be Appalled’: Conservatives Slam Walmart’s New Post-Roe Abortion Policy

Bill De Blasio — of Homeless Hotels and Studly Corona Sutra Fame — Teaches Public Health at Harvard

Finally: The Uvalde Child Massacre Sees Its First Law Enforcement Firing

Find all my RedState work here.

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