It’s no secret that making friends as an adult can be difficult—but according to Jane Fonda, who recently celebrated her 85th birthday by announcing her cancer remission, these relationships are “very important to our health.” And she has a great tip for making and sustaining friendships as an adult, regardless of your age.
In a recent interview with CBS Sunday Morning, Fonda discussed the topic with fellow actors (and close friends) Lily Tomlin and Sally Field. “My favorite ex-husband, Ted Turner, said to me: ‘You don’t make new friends after 60.’ But I think that he’s really, really wrong,” Fonda said.
She added that friendships can have a lasting impact, especially when you’re comfortable enough to open up to each other. “Women sit facing each other, eye-to-eye, and they say, ‘I’m in trouble, I need you, can you help me?’ We’re not afraid of being vulnerable,” she said. Fonda is spot on: Quality friendships can boost your sense of belonging and happiness, improve your self-confidence, and help you cope with stress, among so many other benefits.
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Her advice for anyone who’s struggling to meaningfully connect with others? “You have to be intentional,” she said. “I never used to be intentional. I would meet Sally Field, for example, but not pursue her—well, I did pursue you,” she added, looking at Field. “Oh, goodness sakes, I couldn’t make you stop,” Field joked.
Tomlin agreed Fonda was hard to ignore. “I don’t really like people that much; I try to avoid them. But those who are intentional,” she said, gesturing towards Fonda, “you just can’t get rid of them.” Field added, “They won’t go away!”
So, how do you put this into practice? Fonda said you should actually seek out the people you enjoy being around. “You have to pursue people that you want to be friends with,” she said, “and you have to say, ‘I’m intentionally wanting to be your friend.’ And it works. People hear that and then they stick around, and you develop new friendships.”
Source: SELF
