Sarah Harding has admitted she’s thought about her grave, after saying Christmas 2020 was ‘probably her last’.
In an extract from her new autobiography, Hear Me Out, the former Girls Aloud star, 39, insisted she would want ‘FFS’ as her epitaph to represent her ‘most used phrase’ during her breast cancer battle.
The singer, who has since revealed her tumours have ‘shrunk’ as her treatment moves in the ‘right direction’ – says: ‘I’ve also thought about an epitaph for my grave. I’m thinking ‘FFS’ might be a good one.
‘It might sound morbid, but it’s hard not to at this stage’; Sarah Harding has admitted she’s thought about her grave amid her cancer battle (pictured last August)
‘I keep thinking about funerals at the moment. It might sound morbid, but it’s hard not to at this stage — cemeteries, plots, burials, what kind of send-off I’d like and how it would all go.
‘It’s probably been my most used phrase throughout this, with one cr**py event following another. ”For f***’s sake!”
Earlier this week, Sarah celebrated the release of her book as she thanked fans for their support following her devastating diagnosis last year.
Taking to Instagram, the artist shared a stunning black-and-white behind-the-scenes photo from her cover and admitted the milestone ‘means so much’ to her herself and her mother.
Candid: In an extract from her new book, Hear Me Out, the former Girls Aloud star, 39, insisted she would want ‘FFS’ as her epitaph to represent her ‘most used phrase’ (pictured in 2017)
Success: Earlier this week, the former CBB star celebrated the release of her autobiography as she thanked fans for their support following her devastating diagnosis last year
The Celebrity Big Brother star recalled how the idea to write her project was a ‘dream last summer’ and that she can’t believe it is now a ‘reality’.
The artist revealed she had been battling breast cancer in August 2020 and recently said she does not know how many months she has left to live after her cancer spread to her spine.
Sarah penned: ‘I can’t thank everyone enough for all the kind and loving messages that I’ve received since the weekend. It means so much to me and to my mum.
‘Today’s a special day because it’s publication day for Hear Me Out. At last. I actually can’t believe I’ve done it! What started out a dream idea last summer is now a reality.
‘I hope you enjoy reading my story. The picture on the front of the book was taken by the amazing @ruthrosephotos a few years ago. I thought I’d share this little behind the scenes shot here.
Support: Taking to Instagram, the artist admitted the milestone ‘means so much’ to her herself and her mother as she thanked fans for their support
‘It’s a lot more sophisticated than some of the older pics in the book ! Can’t wait for you all to see them. Sending lots of love as always, S x.’
Sarah’s celebrity followers and fans were quick to share their well-wishes to the star as they celebrated her book release.
Denise Van Outen put: ‘❤️ big love to you Sarah,’ while Duncan James added: ‘Big love Sarah ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️.’
One fan wrote: ‘Lots of love to you Sarah always. I preordered your book and can’t wait to read it today! ❤️❤️❤️❤️.’
Hear Me Out: Sarah recalled how the idea to write her autobiography was a ‘dream last summer’ and that she can’t believe it is now a ‘reality’
Sarah penned: ‘I can’t thank everyone enough for all the kind and loving messages that I’ve received since the weekend. It means so much to me and to my mum.’
While a different follower added: ‘Can’t wait for mine to come in the post, proud of you sarah ❤️.’
It comes after she revealed tumours in her brain and lung have shrunk with treatment.
The musician revealed she had been battling breast cancer in August 2020 and recently said she does not know how many months she has left to live after her cancer spread to her spine.
The media personality spoke of her joy that treatment – including weekly chemotherapy sessions – had achieved this milestone and that she was able to enjoy a ‘relaxing Christmas.’
Ending the book, Sarah wrote: ‘MRI scans at the end of December revealed that the tumours in my brain and in my lung have shrunk a bit with the treatment.’
Praise: Sarah’s celebrity followers and fans were quick to share their well-wishes to the star as the celebrated her book release
The TV star said that while she didn’t know ‘exactly what this means’, ‘right now, every little victory feels momentous.
She continued: ‘With this news under my belt, I was able to enjoy a relaxing quiet Christmas with mum and yes, I got plenty of lovely Christmas pressies.’
Sarah ends the book with:’At the moment, I’m just grateful to wake up every day and live my best life, because now I know just how precious it is.’
The blonde also discusses reuniting with her bandmates Cheryl Tweedy, Nadine Coyle, Nicola Roberts and Kimberley Walsh at Soho Farmhouse recently – but said she felt worried due to losing her eyelashes because of her treatment.
Although she knew the girls ‘wouldn’t be judgemental’, Sarah said she imagined the girls arriving ‘looking fabulous and glamorous’ but when the quintet accidentally met in the carpark, she was reassured.
Heartbreaking: Sarah revealed she was battling breast cancer in August 2020 and this month said she does not know how many months she has left to live (pictured 2018)
The band – who split in 2013 – have solidified their bond and rallied around Sarah during her health battle.
Cheryl, 37, also writes a loving message in Sarah’s book, saying she felt ‘helpless’ and ‘broken’ when Sarah was diagnosed and spoke about what her life could have been.
She added that she is determined to be there for her in every way, with the pair spending hours on FaceTime.
In a further recent excerpt from the book, shared by The Times on Saturday, Sarah said Christmas 2020 was ‘probably her last.’
In the latest tragic update from the book, she penned: ‘In December my doctor told me that the upcoming Christmas would probably be my last. I don’t want an exact prognosis. I don’t know why anyone would want that…
‘Comfort and being as pain-free as possible is what’s important to me now. I’m trying to live and enjoy every second of my life, however long it might be. I am having a glass of wine or two during all this, because it helps me relax.’
The singer added that she now wants to try and ‘enjoy’ herself as she doesn’t know ‘how many months I’ve got left’.
She said: Ending the book, she said: ‘MRI scans at the end of December revealed that the tumours in my brain and in my lung have shrunk a bit with the treatment’ (pictured 2008)
At present, the Call The Shots hitmaker is considering her options for treatment of the secondary tumour at the base of her spine, which may now have spread to her brain.
However, she’s adamant that she doesn’t want to undergo radiotherapy and risk losing her hair, with Sarah noting that although this may sound ‘vain’, she feels that if she only has months left to live then it’s not worth it.
The star explained how after facing the agony of losing her breast, she doesn’t want to lose her signature blonde locks as well.
Sarah went to to say that her priority now is to spent as much time as possible with her mother and friends before she dies, while the star is also hoping to throw a huge party to say ‘goodbye’ to her loved ones.
She said: ‘I think what I’d really like to do is to see everyone – all my friends, all together. One last time. Then I’d throw a great big f*** off party as a way to say thank you and goodbye.’
She continued: ‘With this news under my belt, I was able to enjoy a relaxing quiet Christmas with mum and yes, I got plenty of lovely Christmas pressies’ (pictured in 2018)
She added that she wants to find joy ‘whenever and however I can’ as she poignantly noted that ‘Life has got so much smaller’.
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Sarah went on to share how grateful she is to ‘wake up every day’ amid her cancer battle, as she said it has made her realise how special life is.
She explained: ‘I’m just grateful to wake up every day and live my best life, because now I know just how precious it is . . . nothing is certain any more.’
As Sarah looked back at the start of her journey, she added: ‘At first I thought it was just a cyst. The trouble was the pain was getting worse. It got so bad that I couldn’t sleep in a bed. Eventually my skin started to bruise. By now I was terrified.
‘One day I woke up realising I’d been in denial. Yes there was a pandemic but it was almost as if I’d been using that as an excuse not to face up to the fact that something was very wrong.’
Sarah went on to detail her experience of being put into a coma for an extended period of time, and added that she struggled to form speech even when she was taken out of it.
Sarah explained: ‘With both my lungs and kidneys failing, doctors decided to put me into an induced coma. Even once I was off the ventilator I couldn’t speak properly. All I could do was make noises like a chimpanzee trying to communicate.’
Adding to Sarah’s own words, a source told The Sun how she delayed being seen by doctors because she was ‘scared’ of going to hospital amid the global pandemic.
The source said: ‘Sarah held back from speaking to her doctors about how much pain she was in because of the pandemic and because she was scared. Sarah is now living with advanced cancer and has been undergoing chemotherapy.
‘Along with telling her life story, Sarah wanted to use her book Hear Me Out to urge her fans not to wait to speak to their GP under any circumstances. She doesn’t want anyone to make that mistake.’
Sarah’s representatives declined to comment when approached by MailOnline.
Bond: The singer also discusses reuniting with her bandmates Cheryl Tweedy, Nadine Coyle, Nicola Roberts and Kimberley Walsh at Soho farmhouse recently – but said she felt worried due to losing her eyelashes because of her treatment (pictured 2012)
Illness: In the latest tragic update from the book, she penned: ‘In December my doctor told me that the upcoming Christmas would probably be my last. I don’t want an exact prognosis’ (pictured in 2017)
Struggle: Sarah (pictured in 2018) also said she put off seeing a doctor because of the Covid-19 crisis, writing that she’d been ‘in denial’ about how ‘something was very wrong’ (pictured in 2015)
Sharing an update: In January, the singer told her Instagram followers that she had a ‘lovely but quiet’ Christmas with her mother and their dogs, rounding out a ‘strange’ year
Update: Back in December, Sarah spoke about her ‘tough’ breast cancer battle and revealed she was writing the book about her life (pictured as a young girl)
‘Hope you’re all keeping well’: Sarah thanked fans for their support when she shared an update on her condition and announced she was in the process of writing a book
Moving: Sarah’s bandmates Cheryl, Nicola, Kimberley Walsh and Nadine all shared their support for the star on Twitter following her shocking news
Sarah disappeared from the public eye two years ago after achieving notoriety through her wild antics, explosive love affairs and a rehab stint in 2011.
After Sarah announced her diagnosis, pop stars Cheryl, Nicola, Kimberley and Nadine – who enjoyed more than decade of chart-topping success with Sarah in the band – reached out to their former bandmate.
Meanwhile, Sarah’s bandmate Nadine recently revealed that plans for a Girls Aloud reunion have been put on hold while they support Sarah through her breast cancer battle.
The I’m A Celebrity star, 35, insisted Sarah remains ‘their priority’ following her devastating diagnosis last year, despite questions from fans around whether the band will be reuniting for their 20th Anniversary.
Beloved: The singer is best known as a member of Girls Aloud, who split in 2013 (pictured second left with L-R Cheryl, Nadine, Nicola Roberts and Kimberley Walsh in 2009)
Support: ‘I would love to be like ”yes, this is what we are doing” – at the minute it is very much thinking about Sarah, very much being there for Sarah’ (Nadine and Sarah pictured in 2007)
‘Instead we are worried about Sarah, so we are focusing everything. That is the main priority.’
In another exert from her book, Sarah revealed that winning a Brit Award with Girls Aloud was one of proudest moments in her life.
She joked that ‘as usual’ she was the first one to grab the award while screaming: ‘It’s about time!’
If you have been affected by this story, call Macmillan Cancer Support on 0808 808 00 00.
Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers in the world and affects more than two MILLION women a year
Breast cancer is one of the most common cancers in the world. Each year in the UK there are more than 55,000 new cases, and the disease claims the lives of 11,500 women. In the US, it strikes 266,000 each year and kills 40,000. But what causes it and how can it be treated?
What is breast cancer?
Breast cancer develops from a cancerous cell which develops in the lining of a duct or lobule in one of the breasts.
When the breast cancer has spread into surrounding breast tissue it is called an ‘invasive’ breast cancer. Some people are diagnosed with ‘carcinoma in situ’, where no cancer cells have grown beyond the duct or lobule.
Most cases develop in women over the age of 50 but younger women are sometimes affected. Breast cancer can develop in men though this is rare.
Staging means how big the cancer is and whether it has spread. Stage 1 is the earliest stage and stage 4 means the cancer has spread to another part of the body.
The cancerous cells are graded from low, which means a slow growth, to high, which is fast growing. High grade cancers are more likely to come back after they have first been treated.
What causes breast cancer?
A cancerous tumour starts from one abnormal cell. The exact reason why a cell becomes cancerous is unclear. It is thought that something damages or alters certain genes in the cell. This makes the cell abnormal and multiply ‘out of control’.
Although breast cancer can develop for no apparent reason, there are some risk factors that can increase the chance of developing breast cancer, such as genetics.
What are the symptoms of breast cancer?
The usual first symptom is a painless lump in the breast, although most breast lumps are not cancerous and are fluid filled cysts, which are benign.
The first place that breast cancer usually spreads to is the lymph nodes in the armpit. If this occurs you will develop a swelling or lump in an armpit.
How is breast cancer diagnosed?
- Initial assessment: A doctor examines the breasts and armpits. They may do tests such as a mammography, a special x-ray of the breast tissue which can indicate the possibility of tumours.
- Biopsy: A biopsy is when a small sample of tissue is removed from a part of the body. The sample is then examined under the microscope to look for abnormal cells. The sample can confirm or rule out cancer.
If you are confirmed to have breast cancer, further tests may be needed to assess if it has spread. For example, blood tests, an ultrasound scan of the liver or a chest x-ray.
How is breast cancer treated?
Treatment options which may be considered include surgery, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and hormone treatment. Often a combination of two or more of these treatments are used.
- Surgery: Breast-conserving surgery or the removal of the affected breast depending on the size of the tumour.
- Radiotherapy: A treatment which uses high energy beams of radiation focussed on cancerous tissue. This kills cancer cells, or stops cancer cells from multiplying. It is mainly used in addition to surgery.
- Chemotherapy: A treatment of cancer by using anti-cancer drugs which kill cancer cells, or stop them from multiplying
- Hormone treatments: Some types of breast cancer are affected by the ‘female’ hormone oestrogen, which can stimulate the cancer cells to divide and multiply. Treatments which reduce the level of these hormones, or prevent them from working, are commonly used in people with breast cancer.
How successful is treatment?
The outlook is best in those who are diagnosed when the cancer is still small, and has not spread. Surgical removal of a tumour in an early stage may then give a good chance of cure.
The routine mammography offered to women between the ages of 50 and 70 mean more breast cancers are being diagnosed and treated at an early stage.
For more information visit breastcancercare.org.uk, breastcancernow.org or www.cancerhelp.org.uk
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