Guy Winch, a family psychologist who has been helping couples for more than 20 years, believes that happiness and satisfaction in a relationship depend on three main factors.
More than that, these factors are not instinctive and require learning and preparation. Skills must be developed, which takes a lot of practice. Winch’s colleagues also talk about other habits that help couples stay satisfied with their relationships for many years.
We decided to talk about these skills and habits. And at the end of the article, there is a bonus on emotional hygiene. According to psychologists, it is as important as brushing your teeth every day.
How To Save Relationship
Compassion
Compassion is the ability to imagine yourself in the place of another person and give them some feedback: to support or comfort them, to be sad or happy together.
After living with someone for a few years, you may think that you know each other very well. However, this can be an obstacle in your way of developing mutual empathy in the relationship.
To avoid this mistake, practice your compassion. Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Close your eyes and, taking into account the character and circumstances of the person, try to imagine how they must feel.
Forget your opinion on the problem, try to understand the other person’s emotions. This will allow you to show empathy, which is so important to a happy and healthy relationship.
Emotional Understanding
The previous point leads to this. We mean that it is important not only to be able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when you are in trouble but also during heated arguments between the two of you.
Of course, during an argument, very few people say, “You have the right to feel this way, and I understand it.” It seems like saying this can only make things worse, but it won’t.
These words can have a miraculous effect. Your partner will find that you understand their feelings and, even if they are upset, accept what they feel.
This perception leads to feeling relieved and forgetting negative emotions.
Attention and Politeness
We all tend to underestimate the importance of small acts of politeness and attention. A vicious circle often appears in relationships: one partner shows that he is upset, the other does the same, and everything leads to a serious conflict.
In that case, attention – like a bouquet of flowers, a favorite candy bar, a tasty dinner, or a hug – can help ease and break the circle.
Of course, politeness and attention cannot solve this type of situation if you have made someone suffer. But if the situation is still not too bad, don’t discount this tactic.
Partnership
Some couples get so used to it that they start treating each other as roommates. And each person begins to live their own life.
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In this situation, some people tend to ignore the opinions of their partners when making a decision.
And this is the worst thing you can do. This approach is likely to lead to frequent discussions and interruptions.
To avoid this, you must make important decisions taking into account the opinion of your partner. Because these decisions are likely to influence your life and that of your partner.
Gossip
Never say anything bad behind your partner’s back. You are not even likely to find out and be angry. The problem is that sooner or later you will probably solve the problem, but your mother or your friends to whom you complained will remember the bad words you said.
And let’s be honest, you told them to seek support, and at the time it didn’t matter if it was right or wrong.
Be wiser. Discuss the problems in your relationship with your partner, do not talk about the flaws that the two of you have during a heated argument, but only when you are calm.
In that case, the chances of being happy together for a long time are much higher.
Gratitude
Tell your partner how grateful you are for every opportunity you get. You may not believe it, but those words are magic. Your partner will feel that you are useful, necessary, and will realize that you really believe it.
And you probably hear the words “thank you” more, not just for something great, but even for normal things.
Emotional Hygiene
Very few people pay as much attention to their psychological health as they do to their physical health, although we have more psychological injuries than physical ones.
And Guy Winch is convinced that the worst enemy to your psychological health is rumination.
Rumination is thinking about the same things over and over again. Like when you fail at something or get rejected in a relationship, you keep thinking about it for a long time.
Winch believes that whenever you start to think about negative things that happened, you must deliberately find something positive to think about.
After a few minutes, you will be thinking about good things and over time it will become a habit.
And what do you think are the key factors for a happy and healthy relationship?
Source: crfatsides
