Author and sobriety coach explains how big booze is encouraging us to binge drink ‘bullsh**’  

Veronica Valli, a Nevada-based former psychotherapist turned sobriety advocate and author is 49, but she doesn’t look it. 

She tells FEMAIL that she credits her youthful looks to 22 years of sobriety from alcohol and drugs – and she now wants to start a sober revolution in the UK, where she was raised, and introduced to binge drinking as a teenager.

Veronica was recently a guest on ITV‘s Lorraine and spoke candidly of how her life spiralled out of control under pressure to drink as a young woman, saying it was like ‘pouring gasoline on the fire’ because she was prone to anxiety.   

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Veronica Valli, 49, originally from Thetford in Norfolk, but now based in Nevada, says she wants to start a sobriety movement in the UK – the former psychotherapist turned sobriety coach hasn’t had a drink for 22 years

‘Just a wild child’: Veronica, pictured here in 1987 says she was the life and soul of the binge drinking party – and ‘felt vindicated’ about getting so drunk because British booze culture normalises it

During her 20s, she says the UK was in the clutches of binge drinking and what she calls ‘the alcohol lie’ – she is pictured, cigarette in hand on a boozy night out with friends in the 90s

In a bid to help others realize that binge drinking ‘isn’t normal’, she’s been open about her own experiences, saying she dated a string of toxic losers during her drinking years because she felt ‘the need to be rescued’

She told Femail: ‘I just thought my drinking was normal. I always felt like I didn’t fit in, I was raised by a single mother – and at 14 had my first drink.

‘It felt like the cure-all to feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, and society encouraged it.’

Like many born in Generation X, having their first drink at 14 or 15 was normal practice in the UK, she says.

Veronica adds that with ‘a bit of dressing up’ in heels and make-up she could easily get into clubs and bars underage. 

The author and sobriety champion paints a grim picture of a night out as a young girl, in Thetford, Norfolk, where she is originally from. 

She was drinking with friends and came-to from a blackout outside the pub, covered in her own vomit. The landlord was splashing her with cold water. 

She said at that moment she realized ‘something wasn’t right’ with her drinking, but it was shelved when friends congratulated her on being ‘wild’. 

The mother of two says: ‘It’s just part of British culture, to binge drink and think it’s normal, my friends validated me by making me think I was a just a wild child, so I carried on binge drinking.

‘I was quite literally, physically in the gutter that night, but the metaphor was lost on me after I was validated by those around me. 

‘Drinking was part of exciting adult life.’ 

Doting mum: The sobriety coach with her son, at home in Nevada where she lives with husband Rob and sons Xavier, 10 and Luke, seven

By 18, Veronica was taking hallucinogenic mushrooms otherwise known as magic mushrooms and suffered a terrifying drug-induced psychosis.

The Women’s Studies graduate explains how she was having ’10 panic attacks a day’ and thought there was something ‘seriously wrong with her’. 

At university at the time, she explains that she couldn’t sit in lectures and ‘felt suicidal’ because of the crippling panic attacks. 

She would drink before lectures to cope, thinking it would quell the panic. 

Until the age of 27, Veronica struggled with her drinking, but didn’t think she could ‘just stop’, saying society linked boozing with fun at the time. 

A beautiful family – The Valli’s sit on the steps of their family home, one filled with love and not booze. Veronica’s husband Rob will sometimes have a drink, but isn’t a booze-hound and the pair hope to instill the same values in their children

She says: ‘It’s everywhere, that booze is the secret to fun and sobriety is the antithesis to a good time. You see it on TV, in magazines. 

‘I went to an AA meeting in Florida, and there were people there that had horror stories I couldn’t relate to, like DUIs, losing jobs. 

‘I wasn’t like that – I dressed well, I was educated, I had a good job. My drinking could be minimized. I just thought I had a severe mental health problem and sought treatment for that.

‘People could look at me and just think ‘she’s fine’ – I thought alcoholism was people in the streets drinking out of paper bags.’ 

In her 20s, the now sobriety coach and author explained that her anxiety became chronic, and she was embroiled in toxic relationships with ‘losers’ as she ‘felt the need to be rescued’, her self-esteem was at an all time low.

‘I didn’t know there was a way out, that I could just stop drinking. I thought if that happened, then I would be missing out on all the fun – but I decided that in the end, although I didn’t like the idea, I would do anything to stop the panic and anxiety – now I have tools for it.’  

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Veronica, who once worked for the Met Police, had a ‘roaming’ existence, trying to run away from herself.

She tried everything from religion to self-help to pull herself from her pit of self-loathing and what she thought was severe mental health issues.

She tells Femail: ‘Cutting down is bullsh** and I want people to know that. Anyone who thinks of cutting down, knows they have an issue. 

‘For someone with anxiety, drinking is like pouring gasoline onto a fire.’ 

She says: ‘I had committed to sobriety and by 28 was attending gigs like V festival totally sober. 

‘I realised that you just aren’t really connecting with people when you drink, you aren’t having real moments, you aren’t present.’

At a U2 concert, Valli saw that she was there, drinking in every note and every moment, instead of booze. While her friends queued up for the bar she was in the crowd, beautifully present. 

She adds: ‘Everything I have been told about drinking is a lie. It’s not fun, in fact I have a hashtag on social media that says #wearehavingmorefunthanyouare.

‘There’s this perception that you need to have a drink, that a sunny day or a work event isn’t complete without one, that’s just marketing, it isn’t true.

‘No one talks about it though, it’s in British culture and many cultures that drinking is the promise of that perfect night.’

When becoming sober, she started to retrain in psychology and created the now well known five pillars of sobriety program that is used worldwide. 

The five pillars are: movement, connection, routine, growth and balance. 

She hopes to make a TV show for the sober curious soon, to be aired in the US saying ‘British culture that drinking is fun, just to cut down and you will be fine.

‘We can’t tell people alcohol is bad for them – I want to change the public’s perception. We don’t just need the rock bottom stories, we also need the steps, how to do it.

‘Problems don’t always show externally, for people who haven’t hit rock bottom their issues can be internal.’ 

The book is available at Amazon and major book stores across the UK and came out in January of this year

Veronica now lives with her husband Rob Valli, who rarely touches booze and her two children Xaivier 10, and Luke, 7 everything.

Sh’e credits her now ‘wonderful, healthy life with her sobriety. 

‘Everything I have in my life now is because I am sober from having a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage.

‘And I want to smash the myth that sober is boring and drinking is fun. I can now dance all night and get up at 8am for a run – with no hangover.

‘I was lied to about alcohol, by messages through advertising and social pressure.’ 

Veronica has just returned from a revolutionary Dublin alcohol-free pub called the Virgin Mary, for a book signing. A place she described as ‘delightful and wonderful’.

Soberful: Uncover a Sustainable, Fulfilling Life Free of Alcohol, by Veronica Valli, published by Sounds True Inc, £14.99