Big sister Carole Middleton didn’t manage to stage a last-minute intervention after all, to prevent her troublesome brother from going into the Celebrity Big Brother house.
Gary Goldsmith, better known as ‘Uncle Gaz,’ revealed that if his niece Catherine, Princess of Wales, was watching last night’s launch show then it was likely to be ‘from behind the sofa.’
As he made his entrance by twerking, dancing and revealing himself to be ‘fun, entertaining wind-up,’ she probably wasn’t the only one.
And although Gary is hardly what you’d call a star, he was positively A-list when it came to the programme’s mostly pitiful line up.
Scratching your head and muttering ‘who?’ when the celebrity casting for a reality TV show is announced is something most of us are accustomed to.
Gary Goldsmith (pictured), better known as ‘Uncle Gaz,’ revealed that if his niece Catherine, Princess of Wales, was watching last night’s launch show then it was likely to be ‘from behind the sofa’
Things started promisingly enough when wildly enthusiastic presenters A J Odudu and Will Best began proceedings by naming a genuine celebrity, in the tiny doll-sized shape of Sharon Osbourne (pictured)
From I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here to Dancing on Ice and Strictly, we expect to have to Google one or two names when faced with yet another crop of unfamiliar influencers, DJs and weathermen.
However, when it comes to the (apparently) famous people taking part in Celebrity Big Brother 2024, all I can say is Google must have taken one hell of a beating.
Hoping to cash in on its success with Love Island, ITV bought the rights to Big Brother in 2022 and broadcast the civilian version for the first time last year.
However, this is the first celebrity one for six years. And, boy, was it not worth the wait.
Things started promisingly enough when wildly enthusiastic presenters A J Odudu and Will Best began proceedings by naming a genuine celebrity, in the tiny doll-sized shape of Sharon Osbourne.
However, it was revealed that rather than being a housemate, Sharon is to be a ‘lodger’ who’ll only be staying fleetingly.
A bewildered looking Louis Walsh (pictured) was next to arrive and went off script by admitting that he already knew Sharon was in the house. You’re meant to act surprised Louis!
‘What did she say her name was?,’ asked Sharon when 2022 Love Island winner Ekin-Su Culculoglu (pictured) arrived
Thank goodness producers slipped the pair some prompting cards by the time former Ibiza rep David Potts (pictured) arrived – minus his trousers
Coronation Street star Colson Smith (pictured) is the latest soap star to move into the house, with sources tipping him to go ‘all the way’
Nikita Kuzmin (pictured), best known as a professional on Strictly Come Dancing, has reportedly ired BBC bosses by moving into the CBB house
Theatre star Marisha Wallace (pictured) is swapping the stage for the Celebrity Big Brother house, after roles in Broadway adaptations of Aladdin, Something Rotten and Dreamgirls
While the winner of the regular Big Brother, bags themselves £100,000 prize money, that sum is also rumoured to Sharon’s daily fee… which is precisely why ITV won’t be keeping her for the full three weeks.
A bewildered looking Louis Walsh was next to arrive and went off script by admitting that he already knew Sharon was in the house. You’re meant to act surprised Louis!
The two were promptly dispatched to a secret lair where they had to spy on the rest of the housemates to decide who they disliked wanted to put up for eviction.
Only trouble was that – like us – they didn’t have a clue who half of the contestants were.
‘What did she say her name was?,’ asked Sharon when 2022 Love Island winner Ekin-Su Culculoglu arrived.
‘I don’t know who is, but he’s got big ears,’ said Louis of Coronation Street star Colson Smith.
Thank goodness producers slipped the pair some prompting cards by the time former Ibiza rep David Potts arrived – minus his trousers.
Levi Roots (pictured) is one of Dragon’s Den’s biggest success stories, and has been a fixture on cooking TV shows
Real Housewives of Cheshire star Lauren Simon (pictured) will be swapping one TV show for another as she moves into the CBB house
Bradley Riches (pictured), best known for his role in Heartstopper, and hopes a stint on the show will help with representation
Finally, Fern Britton (pictured), looking like she’d rather be anywhere else, stepped in to save the day and restore the good name of ‘celebrity’
‘His fruit and veg is hanging down,’ remarked an appalled Sharon.
A flurry of musical theatre stars, YouTube presenters and Real Housewives followed all shrieking, ‘You look gorgeous!’ ‘No babez you look gorgeous!’
Finally, Fern Britton, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else, stepped in to save the day and restore the good name of ‘celebrity.’
Fern admitted being nervous and that her children had told her not to not embarrass them by flashing her bits. Shame none of David’s relatives thought to offer the same advice.
Will Uncle Gaz spill any royal secrets? Will David find his trousers? And will Louis and Sharon ever work out who any of them are?
Quite frankly, it was hard to care.
