Coleen Rooney risks giving husband Wayne the ‘green light’ to explain away future transgressions by blaming friends and alcohol for his previous infidelity, a relationship expert has warned.
London-based relationship coach James Preece analysed comments made by Coleen, 36, in new documentary ‘Rooney’, in which she speaks candidly about the issues they have faced in their marriage, including Wayne’s notorious brothel visits and escort scandal.
Coleen, who shares four sons with her childhood sweetheart, says ‘alcohol is a lot to blame, and still is’ when reflecting on her husband’s past behaviour, adding: ‘It’s not a good thing for Wayne to be unsupervised.’
Mr Preece praised Coleen’s ‘maturity’ and desire to stay together for their children but explained blaming external factors like friends or alcohol is problematic because it risks giving Wayne a potential ‘out’ if he is to go astray in the future.
‘It doesn’t sound like he’s taken responsibility for his actions,’ Mr Preece noted. ‘He knows that all he has to say in the future is that he was led astray or his friends made him drink too much.
‘It’s a very easy excuse and allows him to argue that none of it is his fault. This will only result in future heartbreak as if it worked once he can use it again. She’s given him the green light to do it again.’
Coleen Rooney risks giving husband Wayne the ‘green light’ to explain away future transgressions by blaming friends and alcohol for his previous infidelity, a relationship expert has warned
Relationship coach James Preece analysed comments made by Coleen in new documentary ‘Rooney’, in which she speaks candidly about the issues they have faced in their marriage, including Wayne’s notorious brothel visits and escort scandal. Pictured, the couple last night
The documentary looks back on Wayne’s life from his council estate upbringing in the Liverpool district of Croxteth through to the soaring heights of his football career and throughout it all, his relationship with Coleen, who first met at the age of 12.
Wayne and Coleen began dating aged 16 and went on to marry in a lavish ceremony in Portofino in 2008. They are now parents to four sons – Kai, 12, Klay, eight, Kit, six, and Cass, three.
During the documentary, Coleen looks back at the events of 2004 when reports of Wayne’s brothel visits and his infamous romp with three prostitutes first emerged in the press.
Reflecting on the difficult time, Coleen concedes: ‘The first time, we were young so there was a lot of arguing.’
Admitting she didn’t approve of the company Wayne was keeping, Coleen insists: ‘I knew groups that Wayne was hanging around with that weren’t good for him. Lovely people but together, with alcohol, not good and I told him that from day one.
‘I didn’t want him to stop being friends with them but I didn’t want him to go out with them because they got in bad situations.
‘Alcohol is a lot to blame and still is, up to this day with things that has happened recently. It’s not a good thing for Wayne to be unsupervised.’
Wayne is also seen discussing the period, admitting: ‘I put myself in the wrong place and when you’re in the wrong place and there’s alcohol involved you’re gonna make bad decisions and you’re going to have to suffer and deal with the consequences.
‘That’s what happened, it doesn’t take away any of my love for Coleen, it happened. It was a wrong decision to make, I held my hands up and we worked through it.’
Mr Preece said the comments make it seem as though the couple haven’t tackled their issues head-on.
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He continued: ‘She’s blaming his friends and alcohol for the problems, rather than Wayne himself.
‘It’s natural to want answers and to have some form of explanation for this behaviour. You want to try and understand what went wrong in order to fix it.
‘While these external factors might have been part of it, it’s not healthy to blame anyone other than the individual. They were the ones who chose to take the actions that caused the infidelity as they weren’t forced into it against their will.’
He added that while Coleen’s comment about Wayne being ‘unsupervised’ might seem ‘controlling’, it’s understandable.
‘Only children need supervising, not adults, so it tells me that she can’t really trust him. Without trust there is no foundation for a relationship.’
Coleen says she relied on the support of her family and her own instincts to help her through, pointing out: ‘When you’re making those decisions you’ve got to focus on what you want and not other people because you have so many people saying different things to you. ‘Oh why is she getting back with him?”
Marriage: Coleen Rooney has spoken out on her husband Wayne’s drinking and cheating for the first time in a major new documentary on the footballer
‘Wrong place’: Wayne also discusses the period, admitting: ‘When you’re in the wrong place and there’s alcohol involved you’re gonna make bad decisions
‘Obviously I listen to the people that matter to me, my mum and dad always give me a positive outlook on things. There’s nothing that we can’t deal with and that’s my way in a situation – let’s sit down and see what we can do and can we make it work? And we have. We’re not the lovey-dovey type anyway, we like to have a laugh and we work well together.’
She adds that there is some element of truth to the idea that they stayed together for their four boys, explaining: ‘That was part of it but also we still love each other. Hopefully he’s learnt and he doesn’t get himself into any of those horrible situations again. But it’s happened and I’ve got to live with it, if I couldn’t cope with living with it I would have ended the relationship.’
She later adds when asked if she had forgiven her husband: ‘Life goes on and I’ve moved on. You’ve moved on. Not the behaviour, no. It’s not acceptable.
‘Forgiveness I’d say is different. It’s not acceptable what he’s done but it’s happened and that was a stage of life that we were in at the time. But we’ve moved on.
‘I forgive him but it wasn’t acceptable. If it comes up we talk about it like we are talking about it now. I haven’t got the anger I did at the time.’
Family: She adds that there is some element of truth to the idea that they stayed together for their four boys, explaining: ‘That was part of it but also we still love each other’
She added: ‘I do think it’s amazing that we are where we are today. We’re lucky that we both had the strength and support of each other and the people around us to keep going. That’s something we’ve had to work hard at.’
The relationship expert noted Coleen has taken a ‘very mature point of view’ and is ‘willing to move on’ from her husband’s past.
‘This is partly due to her children and also because she can’t really imagine life without him. After all, she’s been with him since she was very young and all her memories and life experiences have been shared with him.’
However he believes the couple still need to do serious work on their relationship.
Mr Preece continued: ‘If you really want to move past infidelity, then it’s going to take a lot of work and a lot of time. You need to face it head on and talk about it as much as possible, no matter how bad the situation.
‘What are the real underlying issues that allowed this to happen, and can they be fixed? Are they genuinely sorry and are you convinced it will never happen again?
‘It’s only then that you can start to heal move on -either moving forward as a stronger couple or going your own ways.’
He added: ‘I believe that Coleen has forgiven him, but she’s certainly not going to forget it and isn’t confident in him making good decisions.
‘What concerns me most is the use of the word “hopefully” regarding Wayne learning from the experience. It’s almost as if she’s expecting it to happen again at some point.’
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