Grieving is a normal part of life. It is something we will all face at some point and even in periods of stability it can be one of the most distressing things we will ever have to deal with.
The way we react to a death is influenced by various things, including our personality, cultural background, faith and our previous experience of loss. However, I know from my 17 years of working in bereavement that two of the most profound effects on our grief can be how the person has died and our own circumstances while we are grieving. Both of these factors have been strongly affected by the coronavirus outbreak.
For every person who dies as a result of this pandemic, about six people will suffer “intense grief”. When you expand that to a death toll of over 40,000, this comes to 240,000 people. With everything else considered, including the average number of deaths in any given month, it is no exaggeration to suggest there are currently more than 6.5 million people who have been affected in some way by bereavement during the outbreak.
This means it is more important than ever that people know how to support themselves while grieving and that those around them are aware of the best ways to help.
How to help yourself
Look after yourself
This sounds obvious but it can easily be forgotten when you are grieving. Make sure you are eating properly and getting enough rest. It can help to keep to a routine, especially when everything has been disrupted.
READ RELATED: Costco’s Steak Dinner Kit Is “Not a Good Deal at All,” Shoppers Say
Try and get some fresh air or sunlight each day – even opening a window can help. If you are allowed to, go for a walk or run or, alternatively, do some exercise in your home.
As best you can try to keep to a regular routine of getting up and dressed and eating meals at the usual time, whether you are on your own or part of a family group. As part of the routine, it can also help to take regular breaks from news and social media. Think about what activities are the best distraction for you – this could be watching old films or TV series, reading, arts and crafts or getting on with some jobs around the house.
However, it’s also important not to be too hard on yourself or set unrealistic goals about what you can do under exceptional circumstances. Try to make sure you get time to relax.
At some point you may also need to face dealing with the inevitable administration that can follow a death.
This can include dealing with the person’s belongings and utilities. If you can, get support from someone when you come round to doing this – it can be incredibly distressing. Perhaps asking a trusted friend or family member to be with you (or go through it with you over the phone if they can’t be there in person) while you do it.
And again, take your time
and look after yourself while doing this. Unfortunately, sometimes tasks that should be straightforward, such as shutting down bank accounts, can be unnecessarily complicated and it’s important, as much as possible, not to let this add to your grief and distress at this time. Some useful links to help with the practicalities following a death can be found on the Cruse website here: cruse.org.uk/get-help/practicalities.
Source: Daily Express
