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We’re living in perilous times; the planet is plagued by primary problems. Fortunately, at least one American lawmaker is majoring in the majors.

Florida state Senator Lauren Book recently surveyed the nation and noticed a pressing need. So she upheld her promise as a public servant and went to work whacking at it.

Excerpted from Section One of Democrat Lauren’s February 17th “animal welfare” bill:

A person may not…allow a dog to extend its head or any other body part outside a motor vehicle window while the person is operating the motor vehicle on a public roadway.

As the saying goes, “It takes all kinds.” And if not for assorted sorts in the Sunshine State’s upper house, paw-bearing passengers would be allowed to do what they desire — feel their ears flutter in a flurry along the avenue.

The senator’s attempt to effectively leash leisurely-cruising canines is far from the first try at regulating Rover on the road. Four years ago, another mongrel-mindful move was made in Florida.

Courtesy of my coverage at the time:

At one point, human beings were just running around naked in the woods. Then someone had an epiphany: “Let’s band together so we don’t die as much.”

Hence, government.

Fast-forward to 2019, and a simple idea has gone awry.

Case in point: This month, the Florida legislature will vote on a bill filed in the Senate destined to make many wish they were still just naked in the woods — the proposed law will ban petting your dog while driving.

More on that proposal, provided by the Miami Herald:

Florida lawmakers’ bill defines “driving while distracted” as being inattentive at the wheel and lists a smorgasbord of activities that run afoul of the proposal, including but not limited to “reading, writing, performing personal grooming, applying a beauty aid or similar products, interacting with pets or unsecured cargo [and] using a personal wireless communications device.”

Pet-related politics makes the news more than you might expect:

Alabama Dog Shelter Drafts Drag Queen Teacher for Fundraiser, ‘Big Bone’ Sex Joke Fetches the Feds

Yikes: Keith Olbermann Is Now Using Dog Account to Go After Elon Musk’s Mother

Veterinary Medicine Goes Woke, Pushes for Vets With ‘Historically Underrepresented’ Identities

Legal Journal Publishes Plea for Hate Speech Laws Protecting Animals

As for Lauren rolling up the window on gust-greedy greyhounds, wind-seeking wiener dogs, and breeze-addicted basset hounds, not everyone exuded enthusiasm.

From WFLA:

After getting some feedback from the public, Book said she plans to amend the bill during the March legislative session, taking out [the] ban out while preserving the rest of the safety measures that were introduced.

“Our family has three dogs — two of which are almost 175 pounds each and love sticking their heads out the window — so I welcome and appreciate all public comment on this issue, which is only one piece of a complete proposed overhaul of the state’s animal welfare system as brought to me by veterinarians and advocates,” Book said in a statement. “We can easily amend this piece out of the bill while protecting the intent of the animal welfare community and vets who proposed the policy because of unintended injuries they’ve treated — and we will. In the meantime, let’s all invest in a good pair of ‘doggles’ to keep our furry friends safe.”

READ RELATED: Battle of the Activists: Dead Whales on the East Coast Likely Due to Wind Turbine Farms

In case you’re wondering:

Regarding Democrats keeping animals inside the vehicle, some might say leaders should go ahead and give them the wheel. Why not let people who aren’t human drive? We already let people who aren’t alive vote.

And some dogs may do it better than their owners:

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But to be fair, not all do:

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Will Lauren’s bill eventually rally? It wouldn’t be surprising; our priorities have gone to the dogs.

-ALEX

See more content from me:

Women Demand Justice, Period: University Hosts ‘Menstruation Equity Summit’

LGBT Ecologists Ogle Racist Parks, Nonbinary Frogs, and the Importance of Public Places for Gay Sex

Spread Love: State University Hosts ‘BANG’ Sex Series, Celebrates Shame-Free Sodomy

Find all my RedState work here.

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