Denise Welch has revealed that she once wished a plane crash would kill her and her baby son Matthew Healy as she battled severe post-natal depression.
The Loose Women star, 62, told how she was struck with a sudden depressive episode before she boarded a flight to Australia with her one-year-old child – who is now the frontman of pop rock band, The 1975.
Denise admitted that when the plane was up in the air, she ‘wished that the plane would go down’ so she would be ‘out of this pain’.
Speaking out: Denise Welch has revealed that she once wished a plane crash would kill her and her baby son Matthew Healy as she battled severe post-natal depression
Speaking on the Zombiemum podcast with host Laura Dockrill, 34, Denise said she had the thought when she decided to take her baby son to visit her then husband, Tim Healy, who was filming for the BBC in Australia at the time.
She said: ‘The night before I went, this massive depression came on. I cannot tell you what it was like to go the airport and get on that plane with this depression.
‘When I was in the air – I told Matthew this years later when he was a grown up, I would never have put this on any child – I wished that the plane would go down.
‘In my mind, I wished that it would, because then I wouldn’t have made the decision.
Tough: The Loose Women star, 62, told how she was struck with a sudden depressive episode before she boarded a flight to Australia with her one-year-old son (pictured with sons Matthew Healy, right, and Louis, left, in 2015)
‘It was the point I wanted something out of my control and I thought, “Why doesn’t it just go down and then I will be out of this pain”. Now I can’t believe I had those thoughts.’
Her son Matthew, now 32, wrote about the incident in an emotional The 1975 song ‘She Lays Down’ that tackles the subject of his mother’s depression.
He penned the lyrics: ‘Well we got a plane, going to see my dad again/ She prayed that we fell from the sky/ Simply to immediate the pain.’
Denise has spoken openly about a number of issues she has had and reflected on her 32-year ‘endogenous’ depression battle in a candid interview earlier this year.
Emotional: Her son Matthew, now 32, wrote about the incident in a The 1975 song ‘She Lays Down’ that tackles the subject of his mother’s depression
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Speaking on The Hot Mess Mums Club podcast with Kelly Pegg and Jenny Powell, she also spoke about her new role as Trish Minniver on Hollyoaks.
Reflecting on her life during the chat, the former Coronation Street star bravely spoke about her battle with clinical depression.
Denise said that her depression started in 1989 after she welcomed her eldest child, which she said was the ‘best and worst’ year of her life.
The actress, who also has son Louis, 20, with ex-husband Tim Healy, 69, said: ‘I always said that this has happened twice in my life. 1989 when I had Matthew, was the best and the worst year of my life .
Candid: Denise reflected on her 32-year ‘endogenous’ depression battle in a candid interview earlier this year (pictured in 2018)
‘The best, because obviously I had Matthew and he is the best thing that ever happened to me, along with Louis, but also because it was the start of my 32-year battle with clinical depression.’
Denise admitted that 2020 has also been the ‘best and worst’ for her due to the pandemic but she is grateful that her last episode of major depression was 2019.
She continued: ‘2020 is very similar, the best and the worst. The worst because we have been plunged into this dystopian hell, and especially for those of us who have children we worry about how it will affect them.
‘And, the best because the last episode of major depression for me was in September 2019 and this is the longest, I have gone without a major depressive episode.
‘So, the whole of 2020, and for those people who think that depression is completely related to circumstances, it’s not. Mine is endogenous, but I have been emotional and in floods of tears.
‘I’ve been sad, I’ve been anxious which is a completely normal reaction to the circumstances, but I have not had major depression.’
Denise added that 30 years later, people are now encouraged to speak about their mental health but that there is still a ‘long way to go’.
Post-natal: Denise said that her depression started in 1989 after she welcomed her eldest child which was the ‘best and worst’ year of her life (pictured with her son Matthew in 2011)
Source: Daily Mail
