Hayden Panettiere opens up about abusive relationship with Brian Hickerson

Hayden Panettiere has opened up about her tumultuous relationship with Brian Hickerson and why she kept reconciling with him despite his multiple domestic abuse charges, saying she is ‘trying to live in a place of forgiveness.’

Panettiere, 32, opened up about her messy romance with the real estate agent in a new interview with People magazine, one day after she revealed to the outlet that she had battled a years-long addiction to opioids and alcohol.

The actress was in the midst of her substance abuse issues when she started dating Hickerson, 33, in 2018, shortly after she wrapped the sixth and final season of Nashville. They were together on and off for nearly four years. 

‘I wanted to party, I wanted to do everything I wasn’t supposed to do,’ she recalled of the beginning of their relationship.

‘Acting was my life, but I felt so bad about myself that I lost trust in myself. And that is very detrimental. The idea of not having a responsibility was very appealing at the time.’ 

Their relationship soon turned ugly when Hickerson was arrested in May 2019 after an incident with Panettiere. He was charged with domestic violence, and she received a protective order before the charges were dropped.

In July of 2020, he was arrested again in connection with eight charges of domestic violence. He entered a no-contest plea to a pair of felony counts of injuring a partner in 2021, and the rest of the charges were dropped. 

Hickerson was in jail for 13 days, and Panettiere put out a statement following the arrest saying she hoped she could serve as an example for others in a similar situation.

‘I am coming forward with the truth about what happened to me in the hope that my story will empower others in abusive relationships to get the help they need and deserve,’ she said at the time. ‘I am prepared to do my part to make sure this man never hurts anyone again.’

Panettiere told People that she continues to ‘feel the same way’ about the statement she put out two years ago.

‘None of it is OK,’ she said. ‘But I want to make sure that everybody knows that each person who goes through something like that, they’re on their own journey. No two things are exactly alike.’

Panettiere also spoke with the publication about an incident in March in which she and Hickerson got into a bar brawl with a group of revelers at a celebrity hotspot in Los Angeles. 

According to TMZ, Hickerson sparked the fight when he spat on a fellow patron at Sunset Marquis, which prompted the manager to throw everyone out of the establishment. 

However, a representative for Panettiere told People that Hickerson ‘made a comment to an individual about leaving the waitress a poor tip.’

‘That same individual, along with the group he was with, began badgering and shoving Brian, at which point security pushed everyone outside. Brian was attacked by the group, as was Hayden, who in her best effort tried to diffuse the situation,’ the representative said. 

A sensational video of the brawl that was first published by TMZ showed Panettiere –  who is just five feet tall – screaming ‘Brian’ while trying to pull Hickerson away from the fight. 

The group eventually moved away from the front door to the street, where fists and feet started flying.

Panettiere mostly stayed near the outer ring of the fight and warningly called her boyfriend’s name. At one point, a man in a brown jacket was still launching himself at Hickerson, causing Panettiere to reach out and grab his jacket to pull him off her boyfriend.

She fell to the ground in the action, alongside two to three other people, while the man she grabbed was held in a headlock by Hickerson. 

Out of the corner of the frame, the actress could be seen being lifted to her feet by what appeared to be a bar employee, but she didn’t stay out of the action long while trying to pry her boyfriend from the fight.

At one point, the Nashville actress screamed: ‘Brian, jail!’ Hickerson, a convicted felony, is on probation until 2025 in connection with domestic violence incidents involving Panettiere.

Panettiere told People it was not her ‘best behavior’ or ‘anyone’s best behavior,’ but added: ‘It was not as insane as it was made to look, and everyone is OK.’

She explained that her relationship with Hickerson marked ‘a very dark and complicated time in [her] life, but they remain friends in the wake of their stormy past.

‘A lot of women go through what I went through, and I want people to know it’s OK to ask for help,’ she added. 

Panettiere said she is ‘trying to live in a place of understanding’ in regards to her history with Hickerson and the multiple domestic violence incidents he was charged with during their relationship.

‘I think [Brian] has done his time and was willing to get help. I think about the things I have done in my life that people forgave me for,’ she told People. ‘Making amends is a really important thing that you learn in treatment. And it gives you a lot of inner peace.’

It’s unclear when exactly they split, but Hickerson confirmed that they are ‘just friends’ and  ‘absolutely not’ together anymore after he was spotted out in Los Angeles on Wednesday. 

Hickerson said there was no chance of a romantic reconciliation, as he’s ‘looking forward to new chapters.’ 

He added that he remains supportive of his ex and is ‘excited to see the next opportunities for her,’ including her upcoming appearance in the sixth installment of the Scream franchise. 

When asked about a public fight he was involved in this past March in LA, Hickerson said it was ‘not one of the finer moments,’ explaining that he ‘went to treatment’ and ‘got help’ in the wake of the incident.

Panettiere’s latest interview with People comes one day after she opened up to the magazine about her drug and alcohol addictions.

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She revealed that her drug abuse began when she was just 15 years old – and then spiraled out of control while she was battling postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter Kaya in 2014. 

‘As I got older, the drugs and alcohol became something I almost couldn’t live without,’ Panettiere confessed.

Her struggle with postpartum depression combined with her reliance on drugs and alcohol resulted in her making the ‘heartbreaking’ decision to send her daughter away to live with her father, Wladimir Klitschko, in Ukraine. 

‘I would have the shakes when I woke up and could only function with sipping alcohol,’ she recalled. ‘[Sending Kaya away] was the hardest thing I ever had to do. But I wanted to be a good mom to her – and sometimes that means letting them go.’ 

Panettiere said she did not drink while she was pregnant with Kaya, but she she fell off the wagon soon after her daughter was born.  

After she sent her daughter away to live with Klitschko, 46, from whom she had split just months before following a nine-year on-and-off relationship, her drinking continued to worsen – to the point where she had to be hospitalized with jaundice. 

‘Doctors told me my liver was going to give out,’ she said. ‘I was no longer a 20-year-old who could just bounce right back.’

The former child star, who began acting on-screen at the age of five, when she landed roles on popular soap operas One Life to Live and Guiding Light, explained her drug abuse issues started when she was just 15 – one year before she began filming hit TV series Heroes. 

She claimed that members of her team began giving her ‘happy pills’ at the time in an effort to make her seem more ‘peppy’ during interviews. 

‘I had no idea that this was not an appropriate thing, or what door that would open for me when it came to my addiction,’ she said. 

Speaking to Good Morning America on Wednesday, the actress explained that her battle with postpartum depression made her alcoholism all the more difficult to deal with because she couldn’t see where her battles with substance abuse ‘ended’ and where her depression ‘began.’

‘[The past four years have] been difficult,’ she said. ‘The years before were very difficult for me too. I’d been struggling for a long time.’

Asking where she sought help for her depression, Panettiere said: ‘The bottle. The bottom of a bottle. 

‘I didn’t have any negative feelings towards my child, I just knew I was deeply depressed. And I didn’t know where the alcoholism was ending and the postpartum was beginning and I ran myself pretty ragged.

‘People around me were more concerned about my usage of alcohol than they ever were about the postpartum depression.’ 

She added that many of those around her were quick to pass off her postpartum depression and alcoholism as signs that she was being ‘overly emotional’ or acting like ‘a crazy woman,’ which in turn made her feel all the more isolated. 

‘I felt like I was walking blind and there was nobody there that was able to support me in the way I needed to be supported. 

‘And I don’t like to ask for help either. You know, I want to be that strong, stoic woman, but when you see a [previously] happy-go-lucky girl… suddenly on the floor in a puddle of mess and alcohol, you’ve got to know something is wrong.’

After Panettiere ended up in the hospital, she finally found the strength to seek treatment for her addictions and ultimately entered rehab for eight months, where she says she found the support she needed to face her demons head-on. 

‘[I made] a lot of great friends in treatment who can speak on your same level where you don’t feel like you’re going crazy,’ she told GMA.

However, she added that her experiences in rehab were difficult times because she was identified specifically as an alcoholic, rather than someone also battling postpartum depression, which meant she struggled to make herself heard. 

‘Oh, it was horrible,’ she said. ‘Once you’re the identified patient as the alcoholic – and not as a girl, a woman going through postpartum depression – then they don’t believe anything that comes [out of] your mouth. So even when you’re telling the truth, even when you’re doing well, I’ve been told “No”, almost gaslit, and told, “No, I wasn’t.”

‘It’s frustrating. It’s heartbreaking. You want to break down and cry, which makes you look even worse. But not being believed, I think to anybody not being believed is – when they’re telling the truth – is painful.’

While the actress is now sober – and focused on ensuring her daughter Kaya is safe and sound while living in Ukraine – she admits that her struggles are far from over. 

‘I’m good [but] it’s an everyday battle, it really is,’ she shared. ‘I’m grateful to say I’m sober today.’ 

While speaking with People, she said: ‘It’s an everyday choice, and I’m checking in with myself all the time. But I’m just so grateful to be part of this world again, and I will never take it for granted again.’

While Panettiere’s daughter Kaya is currently living with her father in Ukraine, which has been ravaged by war following the Russian invasion, she insisted that the seven-year-old is doing well. 

‘She’s my favorite little person,’ she told GMA. ‘And watching how she has handled this whole Ukrainian situation has really blown my mind.

‘She is very safe and where she is, she also has a lot of friends.’

However, it has previously been reported that Kaya was sent out of Ukraine while her father and his brother, Kyiv Mayor Vitali Klitschko, threw themselves into the fight against Russian forces. 

The brothers took up arms to repel a Russian convoy approaching the capital in March, after declaring they were ‘ready to die’ to defend their homeland.

Wladimir has called for Russia to be isolated from all sporting competition, warning that Ukrainian women and children are ‘dying at the hands of the country’s aggression.’

He also asked for governing bodies to follow in the footsteps of the International Olympic Committee (IOC) after the authority recommended banning Russian and Belarusian athletes and officials from international competitions.