I have a new partner who is extremely generous in bed but, as yet, I have not been able to get him to climax. He is almost 64, well endowed and has no erectile problems. I guess it is all very new and he says he is happy seeing me climax, but I feel as if I am failing him. I love oral sex, but even that hasn’t worked. Any suggestions?

You are not responsible for him climaxing, especially since he has made it clear that he does not expect you to be. Some men have fundamental problems with delayed climax. Eventually, he may feel safe enough to let you know exactly what he needs from you to help him finish, but now it would be best simply to enjoy receiving pleasure without putting pressure on him to satisfy your need to make him climax. You could consider asking exactly what type of stimulation he might enjoy in the moment, and it is often best to give choices. During manual stimulation, for example, you could say: “Would you like me to do this more or less firmly, faster or more slowly, in a different place, with a different type of stroke?” “What feels better … this? Or this?” And perhaps you could use an erotic approach to get him to show you how he pleasures himself, which always yields important information.

  • If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to [email protected] (please don’t send attachments). Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online. She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions.



Source link

You May Also Like

I’m 61 with a dodgy knee. Would I be an idiot to try gymnastics? There’s only one way to know …

How do you know when it’s time to slow down? I’ve been…

I find it hard to make friends – now my daughter does, too

The question I grew up in a household that was supportive and…

Winter is coming … but don’t panic! 54 expert tips on getting through the cold, dark months ahead

Shift your mindset Question your ‘winter blues’ Convinced you suffer from seasonal…

In for the chill: five useful tips to help you stay fit in the winter

“When it’s cold outside I find a quick ice bath sorts me…