Since Kamala Harris took on the role of vice president, every detail of her personal life has been dissected, debated, and, of course, judged. Critics have had a field day picking apart her romantic history, and some can’t resist speculating about her marriage to Doug Emhoff, zeroing in on what they perceive as weird. But perhaps the most head-scratching — and conversation-starting — relationship is the one Harris shares with Doug’s ex-wife, Kerstin Emhoff. Unusual? Sure. But according to an expert, their close bond actually makes perfect sense.
Doug and Kerstin were married for 15 years, shared two kids, and divorced in 2008 after Doug confessed to having an extramarital affair. But they’ve eventually managed to move past the drama and become friends, with Kerstin even throwing her support behind Doug’s marriage to Harris, admitting that he’s a much-improved husband. “Of course he’s a better husband, and that’s great,” she told Time. “That’s how it should be.” After Harris and Doug tied the knot, she and Kerstin became fast friends. Harris even jokes in her “The Truths We Hold” memoir, “We sometimes joke that our modern family is almost a little too functional.”
Dr. Patrick Wanis, behavior and relationship expert, creator of SRTT Therapy, and author of “Get Over Your Ex Now!”, explains that while some folks might be suspicious of this friendship, seeing that women are often expected to be rivals, there’s no sign of animosity here. Instead, it looks like Harris and Kerstin have genuine mutual respect, likely fueled by their shared love for the kids they co-parent, Cole and Ella.
According to an expert, Kamala and Kerstin have a healthy relationship
In an exclusive interview with Nicki Swift, Dr. Patrick Wanis pointed out just how “rare” Kamala Harris and Kerstin Emhoff’s relationship is —especially considering they have all the ingredients for what should be a classic case of ex-wife vs. new wife drama. Typically, when a marriage ends in a scandal (say, an affair), the ex-wife and new wife are more likely to be at each other’s throats than on friendly terms. And with Doug Emhoff treating Harris better than he did Kerstin? That’s usually a recipe for jealousy and bitterness. “It is more common to see the ex-wife and the current wife working to undermine or devalue each other rather than being friends, supporting each other, or working together to raise the children,” he explained. Yet, here we are with Harris and Kerstin getting along just fine.
Wanis believes that their strong bond boils down to one thing: their shared love for Cole and Ella. Plus, it helped that Harris didn’t rush to take over the “Momala” role too quickly, waiting for the right moment to insert herself into the children’s lives and earning her major points with Kerstin. “Kerstin, as the mother of these two children, would naturally respond favorably to such a strong and nurturing gesture by Kamala because it demonstrates love and prioritizes the children,” noted Wannis.
Harris has also proven time and again that she’s earned her “Momala” title, while also recognizing Kerstin as an “incredible” mother. With both women putting the kids first, it’s no wonder they’ve developed such a solid bond. As Wannis put it, “When both the biological mother, Kerstin, and the stepmother, Kamala, prioritize the children, they naturally develop a strong bond and relationship.”
Their friendship says a lot about Kamala
Kamala Harris’ friendship with Kerstin Emhoff might not have been part of her presidential strategy (though Kerstin did help out during the campaign), but Dr. Patrick Wanis suggests that their relationship reveals a lot about who Harris is — and by extension, what kind of president she could be.
“Based on this example of her personal conduct, we can expect that the qualities she exhibits in her personal life — such as being giving, caring, thoughtful, kind, and considerate — would also be reflected in her professional life. Kamala has shown a strong form of unconditional love in the ways she integrates Kerstin into the family and lovingly cares for Cole and Ella as her own,” Wannis explained, adding that this could extend to her tenure as president, with a type of leadership characterized by altruism, empathy, kindness, and compassion. “Based on this example of her personal conduct, we might expect that a Harris administration would continue these behaviors and traits, leading to policies and actions rooted in kindness, equal opportunity, thoughtfulness, consideration, compassion for fellow beings, and encouragement with an emphasis on family, love, and care for children, and healthy parenting,” he said.
And let’s not overlook the fact that Harris has been raising and cherishing children she didn’t give birth to herself. Wanis sees this as a powerful reflection of her character. “Kamala Harris demonstrates what the feminine energy and approach truly represent – the closest thing to unconditional love,” he said. It’s a quality you certainly can’t attribute to every president — or presidential hopeful, for that matter!
