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On paper, Kristi Noem and her husband, Bryon Noem, have a storybook marriage. The two South Dakota locals were high school sweethearts who married in 1992, welcomed three kids together, and before life in the political spotlight, operated a farm and ranch, opened an ice cream shop, and helped manage a family restaurant. However, things have begun to get weird as Kristi’s political career has brought her closer and closer to the Republican party’s north star, Donald Trump. And with CNN reporting that Kristi was appointed by Trump as the secretary of the Department of Homeland Security, it looks like she will be spending even less time in her home state, with her down-home husband, than before.
From Kristi becoming entrenched in salacious rumors with other Republican power players to transforming into a leading name in the MAGA movement to the rampant rumors of plastic surgery, we wonder if Bryon might be dealing with more than a little weirdness in a marriage that has lasted over thirty years. While the couple have managed to keep their marriage intact as Kristi graduated from being a congresswoman in the South Dakota House of Representatives to the U.S. House of Representatives to then becoming the Governor of South Dakota, we can’t help but wonder what the future holds for a marriage that, based on the headlines, seems a little one-sided.
Kristi had an open affair with Corey Lewandowski
Perhaps the weirdest thing about Kristi Noem’s marriage to Bryon Noem is the fact that it was apparently an open secret that she had an affair with Corey Lewandowski, who served as Donald Trump’s former campaign manager. The New York Post reported on the bombshell news, with a source saying, “This has been a known, open thing and we’ve all been waiting for it to blow up at some point.” But it appears that the affair wasn’t just something that was kept behind closed doors, with the source recalling Kristi and Lewandowski getting handsy at the Hyatt Regency in Orlando, with 100 to 200 eyewitnesses in plain sight. They said, “I remember it was so absurdly blatant and public,” adding that “It’s a lobby bar where everyone is staying and so there’s a bajillion political operatives and journalists and electeds around.” Maybe someone can let us know if Kristi was wearing one of her trademark inappropriate outfits.
Kristi responded in a since-deleted tweet on X, formerly Twitter, saying, “These rumors are total garbage and a disgusting lie. These old, tired attacks on conservative women are based on a falsehood that we can’t achieve anything without a man’s help. I love Bryon. I’m proud of the God-fearing family we’ve raised together. Now I’m getting back to work” (via People). As for Lewandowski, he is married to his wife, Alison Lewandowski, to whom he has been married since 2005 and with whom he shares four kids. Lewandowski declined to comment to the New York Post regarding the affair allegations.
Bryon allegedly moved out of their governor’s mansion
It appears that Bryon Noem may have moved out of the governor’s mansion in Pierre, South Dakota, at some point in 2021. The building is supposed to be the residence of Governor Kristi Noem and Bryon, but according to the South Dakota Standard, a moving van was spotted at the residence around that time. The South Dakota Standard journalist also checked local courthouses for any divorce filings but didn’t find anything, making us wonder if Kristi and Bryon are pulling a Don Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle and keeping the marriage together for political optics.
As for who lives where, in 2020, a reporter for South Dakota Public Broadcasting reported that Kristi split her time between the governor’s mansion and their family ranch when in South Dakota while also traveling to D.C. to make necessary appearances in Congress. As for where exactly Kristi and Bryon live, and whether they live together, is uncertain — though that does add a level of weirdness to the whole ordeal. Nonetheless, in May 2024, Bryon posted a carousel of pictures of him and Kristi together on Instagram to celebrate their anniversary, saying, “Happy 32 to my favorite gal in the whole wide world! It’s been a heckuva ride and I’m so glad to have been on it with you. I love you Dear! You bless me. Happy Anniversary.” So, it looks like the two are still finding some time to run into each other.
Despite it all, Bryon keeps the family going
With Kristi Noem busy courting Donald Trump and allegedly engaging in affairs, it’s a little weird that she has emphasized what a great father Bryon Noem is. In a guest post for the South Dakota State News, Kristi wrote eloquently about all of the ways that Bryon kept the family running while she was away, saying, “Bryon completes many of our chores. I am gone a lot, and he is left to handle all things related to kids, ranch, and house.” Given the news about the open affair with Corey Lewandowski, it’s a little hard not to read the rest of the statement without wincing, as Kristi writes, “I know that I am blessed to have a husband who recognizes how wonderful it is for me to come back to a clean house and tended family, and he tries to make that happen. But over the years, what has made me love him more each day is the way he loves our kids.”
On the South Dakota governor’s official website, Bryon writes, “It’s easy to think the grass is always greener somewhere else, but when it comes down to it, I truly believe that the people of South Dakota are the most kind, genuine people you’ll ever meet.” It’s so pure it breaks our heart because, honestly, it feels like the hometown boy who doesn’t realize that his girl moved to the big city and has started drinking martinis with well-dressed men at the hotel bar.
Trump is another third wheel in their marriage
But even with the rumors of Kristi Noem’s affair supposedly squashed (according to her), there is still a third wheel in her and Bryon Noem’s marriage, and that is Donald Trump. First and foremost were the rumors that Kristi made a push to be Trump’s vice-presidential nominee when he ran for re-election in 2020. That job ultimately stayed with Mike Pence, though, according to the New York Times, Kristi joined Trump and none other than Corey Lewandowski on a private flight after Trump visited South Dakota. On the flight, Kristi and Trump reportedly talked for over an hour in private, during which she reportedly did not press for Pence’s VP title but apparently dazzled Trump and Lewandowski enough for Lewandowski to call her a star who “has a huge future in Republican politics.” It appears this future has now manifested in Trump appointing her as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security.
But Trump might have even more majestic reasons in mind for bringing Kristi into his inner circle, with Trump oddly telling Kristi in their first meeting that he always wanted his face chiseled into the rock face of Mount Rushmore. Argus Leader reported on Kristi recounting the incident, saying, “I shook his hand, and I said, ‘Mr. President, you should come to South Dakota sometime. We have Mount Rushmore.’ And he goes, ‘Do you know it’s my dream to have my face on Mount Rushmore?'” She then went on to strangely gift Trump his own personalized miniature Mount Rushmore, making the two cozier than ever. So, depending on how things go, the national memorial might be having some facial reconstruction work done.
The Noem’s kill a lot of animals on the family farm
Nothing brings a family together like shooting the family dog — or at least that’s what they do in the Noem household. Kristi Noem received waves of backlash after the Guardian published an excerpt from her book, “No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward,” in which she details shooting and killing her dog Cricket for misbehaving. According to the Guardian, she wrote, “I hated that dog,” that it was “untrainable,” and that Cricket was “dangerous to anyone she came in contact with.” Kristi came to her merciless conclusion by writing, “I realised I had to put her down.”
But with her bloodlust not fully sated, Kristi went on to describe how she also shot and killed a “family goat” shortly after murdering Cricket. Perhaps meant to be a funny anecdote but coming off more as a sociopathic aside, per the Guardian, Kristi wrote that shortly after killing her dog, the school bus arrived to drop the kids off from school, with her daughter Kennedy asking, “Hey, where’s Cricket?” And while Bryon Noem has remained tight-lipped over the ordeal, there does appear to be some tacit acknowledgment of him being part of the “we” in a statement posted to X after Kristi received backlash over her killings, saying, “We love animals, but tough decisions like this happen all the time on a farm. Sadly, we just had to put down 3 horses a few weeks ago that had been in our family for 25 years.” But all’s well that ends well, with Kristi’s new boss, Donald Trump, being unfazed by the puppy scandal, meaning that it’s just one more weird thing everyone can sweep under the rug.
