Mental health crisis, or nervous breakdown, is commonly used by the public to describe a person’s extreme reaction to a stressful situation resulting in his inability to function normally in everyday life.
Feeling overwhelmed emotionally and physically, a person may experience the following symptoms according to Houston Behavioral Health Hospital:
- Feelings of worthlessness
- Hopelessness
- Severe disappointment with one’s life
- Lack of appetite
- Inability to sleep
- Lack of concentration
- Suicidal thoughts
Aside from stress at work or at home, a mental breakdown can be caused by depression/anxiety, experiencing a tragedy, major life changes, and even inadequate sleep.
In this post by u/Beautiful-Cut3012, she shared her heartache about the way her own family has been treating her husband who suffered a nervous breakdown. She wrote in Reddit’s r/AmItheA–hole forum, “I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have been married for 5 of those years. He has suffered horrific trauma at the hands of his dad. His parents were married and expecting twins when his mom suffered some kind of hemorrhage and she ended up with eclampsia. My husband’s mom and twin sister did not make it. But my husband did after a period of time in the NICU.”
According to OP, her husband’s dad blamed him for the death of his mom and twin sister. His grandparents tried to protect him from his dad’s anger, but both died when he was just 8 years old. And so he lived day by day being told by his dad that he was the reason for their family’s tragedy and he had no one assuring him that it was not true.
When OP and her husband met, he was attending therapy and was starting to heal. But, he remained fearful that his dad’s words were true. Nonetheless, OP saw the good man in him and they got married. OP was very happy to see that her own nieces and nephews have grown very fond of her husband along with the rest of her family.
Unfortunately, another tragedy struck. OP wrote, “In January 2020 I was pregnant and we went for a scan where we learned I had miscarried. As soon as my husband heard this, something inside of him broke. He started to unravel. He was in the middle of a mental health crisis. He was doing this weird manic laugh that was also a sob. He ran out of the room and I followed after him, concerned. My mom and sister both work at the hospital (sister’s a nurse while mom worked in the little gift store). Both saw him in this worst moment. They saw as medical personnel were forced to intervene because he was in the middle of a breakdown, hysterical and totally out of it. He was totally broken and nothing could reach him. It was the scariest moment of my life. The worst moment of his.”
But, instead of helping her husband to regain calmness, her mom and sister spread stories within their family about her husband’s weird laugh and behavior. And they began to shun him, in spite of their knowledge about her husband’s past that trigerred his breakdown. The poor man thought he had caused the death of his own child, too.
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OP went on with her revelation. “My husband ended up under the care of a psychiatrist who suggested he needed a lot more help than therapy could provide. Instead of understanding my family no longer wanted him around. They said a man who could laugh at his own wife’s miscarriage was not the kind of man they wanted around the kids. I told them I would not leave him behind.”
Recently, OP and her husband received an invitation. Her niece is turning 12 years old and she would be holding a big party for the first time after the pandemic. The young girl personally phoned her since she did not see their names in the guest list that her mom created.
OP had to tell her niece that they could not attend her birthday party, but her niece would not give up without knowing the reason. She told her that the adults in their family no longer welcome her husband. Upon learning this, her niece confronted her parents and grandparents who later blamed OP for telling the child this part of the truth.
But was OP really wrong?
ItsAllJustMalarkey wrote, “NTA. I respect you for standing with your husband. That was the right move. If they wont welcome both of you, then neither of you attend. As far as telling your niece the truth, I agree with that too. You have nothing to hide. There was nothing inappropriate about revealing this to her. And it sounds like you kept the explanation short.”
Likewise, coffeeandattitude commented, “NTA…you kept it short and now there’s an accountability your family doesn’t want to deal with. THEY made the decision knowing better what the circumstances were and having a medical background they should’ve realized that it’s an involuntary response your husband had. Shame on them. It’s unfortunate you can’t pick your family.”
And more support from JupiterSWarrior, “Holy hell, NTA! So much NTA. I am so so so sorry you and your husband lost your child like that. And I’m so so so sorry, especially, for your husband. That must have opened fresh wounds. The scarring on that is deep and concerning. No, I don’t think that you and your husband should be surrounded by people who totally judge him based on an extreme vulnerable moment in both of your lives. His mental health comes first. I hope you and him are doing better.”
Source: The Autism Site Blog
