Michelle Heaton has claimed ‘it would have been easier to die’ than go through the ordeal she suffered in the height of her drug and alcohol addiction.
The singer, 42, checked into rehab in April after being warned that she would die if she didn’t change her ways.
Yet in the build up to seeking help, Michelle was trying to hide her drinking from her family, secretly binging on vodka while her hair fell out and skin turned translucent as a result of her drinking.
Speaking in a candid interview with OK! magazine, Michelle – who has children Faith, nine, and AJ, seven – with her husband Hugh Hanley confessed: ‘It might sound selfish, but the first four months of this year it would have been easier to die. I’m surprised I’m still here’.
‘It would’ve been easier to die’: Michelle Heaton reveals she had a FIT, her hair fell out and her skin became translucent while she secretly drank a bottle of vodka daily (pictured this month)
The singer stressed that although she hadn’t been contemplating suicide, she believed she would die soon, and didn’t want to prolong the agony for her family.
Discussing the physical impact her drinking had on her body, she explained that her skin had turned translucent, her stomach bulged as her liver protruded and her hair began falling out, all while her weight dropped to 7st 13lbs.
The singer also noted the impact her drinking had on their children, who witnessed Michelle throwing up after binge drinking, and shouting in a drunken rage.
‘She wouldn’t stop shaking’: Michelle’s husband Hugh Hanley told on Monday of the terrifying moment that the singer, 42, had a fit in bed four days before she checked into rehab
Her husband Hugh remarked that the turning point came after Michelle suffered a terrifying fit in bed, and checked into the Priory for rehab just four days later.
Hugh told the magazine: ‘She wouldn’t stop shaking and her mouth was drooling. That was scary and it really spooked her.’
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The terrifying diagnoses prompted Michelle to check into rehab in April but long-term damage had already been done to her body from the excessive drinking, and her pancreas no longer functions so she will have to be on medication for the rest of her life to help her digest food.
Earlier this month, Michelle revealed the shocking impact her addiction had on her hair.
Sharing before and after photos after paying a visit to a salon, the former singer said: ‘This was filmed only this morning, That’s the harsh reality of what my hair became.’
The star documented the poor condition her brown tresses were in when she arrived at a London salon.
Michelle told her followers: ‘It’s funny (not really funny) but still funny, how stress … hormones … alcohol … drugs … diet … fitness all effects the hair!’ [sic]
Brittle: Earlier this month Michelle revealed the shocking impact her addiction had on her hair as long term damage had been done to her body from drinking
The singer admitted earlier this year that long term damage had been done to her body from drinking as much as a bottle of vodka, two bottles of wine and snorting cocaine every day since 2018.
‘What I was doing was a suicide mission. I was crying out for help when I couldn’t actually ask for help. When you’re an addict, it feels like there’s no way out’ she told The Sun, just 36 hours after leaving rehab.
The star has said on social media that Hugh has been her ‘rock, best friend and biggest supporter’ throughout the ordeal.
Honest: Last month, the star admitted she had been left ‘close to death’ following a three-year binge, and she revealed her husband Hugh has been her ‘rock’ throughout the ordeal (pictured with their children Faith, nine, and AJ, seven)
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