Surrogate, 52, who gave birth to her own granddaughter reveals she suffered postpartum anxiety

A 52-year-old woman who carried and gave birth to her own granddaughter via surrogacy has opened up about her experience with postpartum depression and anxiety.

When Chicago-based Breanna Lockwood, 30, struggled with infertility, her mother, Julie Loving, stepped into help, getting pregnant and eventually giving birth to her own biological granddaughter, Briar Juliette.

But while Julie’s pregnancy wasn’t much different from her other two, decades earlier, this time around she experienced ‘waves of heavy postpartum anxiety,’ some ‘slight postpartum depression,’ and intense nausea in the weeks after giving birth.

Breanna had documented her fertility struggles and her mother’s surrogacy on Instagram, including candid photos from November 2, when a C-section brought Briar into the world.

Though the pair were both overjoyed at the time, in the weeks that followed, Julie struggled to cope, and Breanna admits it ‘wasn’t all just smooth sailing.’ 

‘I think people ultimately think surrogacy postpartum is sadness because they don’t get the baby. But that couldn’t be further from the case,’ she explained.

‘My mom had waves of heavy postpartum anxiety, maybe also some slight postpartum depression. Anxiety turning on heavy at night, crying and fearful, she couldn’t explain it. Nausea. Nausea so bad followed by more anxiety and fear of throwing up and using those stomach muscles,’ she recalled.

‘Could it be the [C-section] delivery? It wasn’t what we visioned or hoped for, of course we are thankful and the ultimate goal is a healthy baby. But delivery trauma can definitely play a part,’ she went on. 

‘The emergency c-section recovery was undoubtedly so much harder to bounce back from than my moms previous vaginal births.

‘Hormone drops, we are talking high pregnancy hormones, dropping back down to menopausal levels. Something we didn’t prepare for, nor i feel anyone really thought about until it was happening,’ she explained.

Breanna said it was ‘rough’ for her mother, who suffered for several weeks. 

Though Julie had planned to pump breast milk for Briar, before long she was unable to continue.

‘She didn’t feel up for pumping anymore, and that was completely okay,’ Breanna wrote previously. ‘I remember seeing her struggle in the rocking chair trying to do it, and just telling her softly that Briar will be perfectly fine on formula, you don’t need to stress. 

‘Although she was perfectly able to produce milk at her age, It was a lot different this time around.’

Speaking to Insider, Julie admitted that the birth was a bit ‘traumatic’ and she hadn’t been ‘mentally prepared’ for a C-section. 

For a while after, she didn’t want to talk about the birth experience. 

‘My mom had such high excitement for the delivery,’ Breanna said. ‘So when things don’t go exactly as envisioned, on top of hormones, it made her really sad to think about.’

Within a few days, she was suffering from postpartum anxiety that would grow worse at night, leaving her crying and full of fear. 

‘I never experienced it with my own pregnancies years ago,’ Julie said. ‘I just started to feel feelings of anxiety or fears that I hadn’t ever felt previously. Nothing related to the baby. Mostly just my own recovery maybe.’

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That included anxiety about the extreme nausea she was feeling, which she worried would give way to vomiting that would got problems with her incision site. 

It certainly couldn’t have helped that she went from having high pregnancy hormones to low menopausal hormones. 

Fortunately, Julie had her husband to help take care of her, and she felt better after about four weeks. 

‘I found some natural ways to cope,’ Julie said. ‘I know some people require medication, and I think it’s so important to get help and ask for it if you need to. Mine was early-onset and over fairly quickly, fortunately.’

Now the mother-daughter duo are able to just enjoy the latest addition to their family and happy times together.

On December 18, they celebrated their shared birthday, and later that month, Briar saw her first Christmas. 

The joyous times come at the end of a fertility journey that Breanna discussed candidly online.

She and her husband, Aaron, had tried to get pregnant since they got married, enduring seven surgical procedures, three rounds of harvesting eggs, and four failed embryo transfers, as well as a single and twin miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy.

‘The trials and tribulations of infertility was undoubtedly the hardest venture we have had to face in our lives,’ she said. 

But in March of 2020, she revealed that her mother was 17 weeks pregnant and carrying their child. 

‘They say, “It takes a village to raise a child,” but for some it can take a village to HAVE a child… We are happy to announce, finally… BABY LOCKWOOD IS ON THE WAY!’ Breanna wrote on Instagram, explaining the baby was ‘made with a lot of love and a little bit of science’.

‘My beautiful mama is carrying her first grandchild, Aaron and my biological child, as a gestational carrier!’ she went on.

A gestational carrier is a woman who carries someone else’s biological child without donating any of her own eggs or DNA. 

Breanna said Julie — who had already gone through menopause — went ‘through the ringer of heath tests’ to see if she could qualify to be her surrogate. 

In fact, Breanna said she was turned down by multiple reproductive doctors who said that her mom was too old to be a surrogate, despite the fact that she is in ‘tip top’ shape physically.  

In the end, however, it was Julie’s healthy, active lifestyle that convinced doctors she would be able to carry a child safely. 

‘Once my doctor met my mom at one of my appointments I could see his wheels start turning,’ Breanna said. ‘My mom is a double Boston marathon runner, and triathlete, and looks more like my sister. 

‘She is in tip top shape, better health than she was in her twenties when she gave birth to me! He agreed to see if she passed the preliminary testing and talk to the board… with flying colors she passed.’ 

Breanna continued: ‘Sharing this adventure with my mom has been the most unique and amazing experience. 

‘Surrogacy is truly the most selfless gift. She is the pure example of “you would do anything for your kids” and if I can even be half of the mother she is, I know I’m doing something right.’ 

She added that Julie is one of only a handful of surrogates across the US to deliver their grandchild via gestational surrogacy. 

Then, in November, Julie gave birth.

‘My mom was an absolute rockstar through a difficult delivery. The sacrifices she took to bring this little slice of heaven into our world takes my breath away,’ Breanna wrote at the time.   

Source: Daily Mail