Don’t Look Down For SU2C
The Hotel Inspector
Reality works differently for younger celebs. They understand how to mould it to their advantage.
The generation that grew up with reality TV knows instinctively how to exploit its craving for melodrama and big emotions. Every moment of doubt becomes a breakdown, every tear a torrent.
Chris Hughes hogged the attention on Don’t Look Down For SU2C (Ch4), as eight celebrities tried to master the vertigo-inducing art of highwire walking. The Love Islander acted up like a toddler throwing a tantrum in a supermarket.
He wasn’t just scared of heights, he was begging for his mummy and pleading that he was too young to die. While other celebs prepared nervously to jump in a backwards bungee challenge, Chris was on the sidelines, sobbing, swearing, collapsing in a heap and declaring that he couldn’t possibly do it. When it came to his turn, he jumped, of course.
Former girl band singer Kimberley Wyatt of the Pussycat Dolls is a veteran of numerous reality shows, from MasterChef to Dancing On Ice. But she’s old school, and believes in trying to maintain a shred of dignity. So when her safety harness appeared to snag as she made her leap, and she was left clinging to the side of a bridge above a 330ft gorge in the Austrian Alps, she didn’t scream or panic. She just grimly hauled herself back to safety, and did the jump again.
Chris Hughes hogged the attention on Don’t Look Down For SU2C (Ch4), as eight celebrities tried to master the vertigo-inducing art of highwire walking
The climax of this five-part series is to get the celebs to walk a tightrope across London’s Olympic Stadium, 100ft in the air
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Chris would have needed a mountain rescue helicopter at the very least. Even on a day off, he was hoovering up all the sympathy, by lying in bed prostrated by altitude sickness.
It was former West Ham defender Anton Ferdinand I felt sorry for. He was one of two ex-players on the show — the other was Frenchman David Ginola, repeatedly described on screen as ‘Football God David Ginola’. Poor old Anton’s caption just read ‘Footballer’.
The climax of this five-part series is to get the celebs to walk a tightrope across London’s Olympic Stadium, 100ft in the air. But the real point is to raise money for cancer research: SU2C signifies Stand Up To Cancer.
It’s a fair bet that most of them won’t make it. This show should have been called Fall Off For Cancer. The only contender with natural balance is former Olympic cyclist Victoria Pendleton, whose experience on two wheels probably helps.
Victoria lost her twin brother, Alex, aged 42, to brain cancer in June this year. Her emotions are inevitably very close to the surface, but she was bravely holding them back. That’s a lot more moving to see than exaggerated hyperventilation.
You could forgive Alex Polizzi for hyperventilating as she checked into a boutique B&B in Redcar, North Yorkshire, on The Hotel Inspector (Ch5). The six bedrooms were crowded to the ceiling with junk from charity shops. The stairs and corridors were daubed with lurid pop art, including a portrait of a chimpanzee and striped optical illusions designed to induce migraines.
You could forgive Alex Polizzi for hyperventilating as she checked into a boutique B&B in Redcar, North Yorkshire, on The Hotel Inspector
There was no hotel name outside — the owner, Claire, couldn’t afford one. And there were no fire doors either, so that the place couldn’t even legally open for business.
Alex offered a few tips, such as how to make up beds with hospital corners. Since not every room had a bed, this seemed to be missing the point.
The real shocker was the state of Claire’s finances. She owed £167,000 on a bridging loan, she’d borrowed 20 grand from her son and another £20,000 from her mother, and she was still broke. She even persuaded Alex’s producers to chip in a few hundred extra.
Claire has missed her calling. She might be clueless about hotels, but she’s a natural at fundraising. Cancer Research should hire her now.
