Vicky Pattison becomes tearful discussing her ‘turbulent’ relationship with alcohol

Vicky Pattison became emotional as she opened up about her ‘turbulent’ relationship with alcohol and admitted she was ‘terrified’ of becoming an alcoholic like her father.

The former Geordie Shore star, 34, appeared on The One Show on Monday night to discuss her new documentary My Dad: Alcohol and Me, which explores her father John’s alcoholism and her own relationship with alcohol.

In a revealing interview on the chat show, Vicky spoke about her own ‘complicated’ relationship with alcohol and said she finally feels ‘strong’ enough to speak about her struggles.

Candid: Vicky Pattison became emotional as she opened up about her ‘turbulent’ relationship with alcohol and admitted she was ‘terrified’ of becoming an alcoholic like her father

She candidly spoke about feeling ‘terrified’ of becoming an alcoholic as she said she is now turning the age that her father was when he lost his battle with addiction.

Becoming emotional and choking back tears, Vicky explained: ‘I’m 35 this year. That was exactly when my dad started really to lose his battle with his addiction.

‘That’s terrifying for me. I’m very well aware that my turbulent relationship with alcohol has got us into trouble in the past and been a concern. 

‘I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind that this year it was all going to unravel, it felt like this predetermined conclusion and no matter how I tried – no matter how many yoga retreats how many smoothies I drank or sober Octobers I did, I was just going to end up the same.’

Family: The star, 34, discussed her new documentary My Dad: Alcohol and Me, which explores her father John’s (centre) alcoholism and her own relationship with alcohol 

But Vicky said filming her Channel 4 documentary and speaking with her father made her realise that she has a ‘huge desire not to be that way’.

A clip from her documentary was played and saw her speaking to her mother Caroll about her ‘turbulent’ relationship with alcohol and her binge drinking on Geordie Shore.

‘I work really hard to be this version of me,’ she emotionally said in the clip.

Returning to the studio, Vicky said she finally feels ‘strong’ enough to speak about her ‘demons’ with alcohol now she has a ‘grounded’ life with her fiancé Ercan Ramadan.

‘I think when you’re opening up and being really vulnerable, you have to be in a really strong place mentally, and over the years I probably haven’t been,’ she said.

Opening up: In an interview on the chat show, Vicky spoke about her own ‘complicated’ relationship with alcohol and said she finally feels ‘strong’ enough to speak about her struggles

‘I’ve had my own demons, a complicated relationship with alcohol and not a very grounded personal life.

‘Now [I’ve got] a lovely fella, a great dog, a great support system. It felt like I was strong enough to talk about these things.’

The Ex on the Beach star went on to explain that she had ‘difficult’ conversations with her father John – who is now in remission – while making the documentary, saying she found it challenging to give him ‘tough love’.

She said: ‘I don’t think it’s ever easy to have seriously open conversations, that are going to be potentially difficult, with the people you love. I hate confrontation with the people I love and having to give my dad tough love, like you see in the documentary, was really difficult.

Fears: She candidly spoke about feeling ‘terrified’ of becoming an alcoholic as she said she is now turning the age that her father was when he lost his battle with addiction

‘My instant reaction is to wrap him up in cotton wool because he’s had a hard enough live as it is – he doesn’t need me giving him a hard time about [alcohol]. But I’ve learned, sometimes tough love is the only way.’

Vicky also spoke about the ‘taboo’ surrounding alcohol and addiction and said she hopes her documentary will help other people understand it better.

‘Addiction is devastating for the person who suffering but also the whole family,’ she added.

After her appearance on The One Show, viewers took to Twitter to praise the TV personality for being ‘brave’ in speaking about her struggles with alcohol.

One person wrote: ‘Thank you @VickyPattison for your very honest and open chat this evening on The One Show. As a former addict myself I’m really looking forward to seeing your documentary.’

‘What an inspiration’: After her appearance on The One Show, viewers took to Twitter to praise the TV personality for being ‘brave’ in speaking about her struggles with alcohol

READ RELATED: Covid leaked from an AMERICAN lab, claims top US professor Jeffrey Sachs

Another said: ‘What to say? Other than what you have done with this documentary about alcohol and your dad is really brave. It cannot have been at all easy to go there let alone putting on tv. More power to you. Good luck with your life filled with other things.’  

A third penned: ‘Massive respect to @VickyPattison there.’

A fourth added: ‘What an inspiration Vicky is, well done and God bless you and your family #theoneshow.’ 

Vicky previously admitted that she is ‘mortified’ looking back on her wild nights on Geordie Shore, saying she was ‘never a nice drunk’.

In a tell-all interview, Vicky also recalled that she had contemplated suicide during her stint on the show. 

Awareness: Vicky also spoke about the ‘taboo’ surrounding alcohol and addiction and said she hopes her documentary will help other people understand it better

Talking to The Times, she explained that having grown up with an alcoholic father –  binge drinking in her youth hit home a lot harder for her than it did for her party loving counterparts.

Sharing that her father has suffered two heart attacks, a stroke and cancer of the mouth – Vicky also recalls being used as a ‘human walking stick’ while supporting him home from a party.

She shared: ‘I was always begging Dad to stop. He’s tried rehab, AA. He’d get hospitalised to dry out, but he’d start again.

‘The boys didn’t want to knock on my door because Dad could be scary. I didn’t want to be like him. But at points, I’ve been exactly like him,’ explains Vicky.

Joining the cast of Geordie Shore in 2011 at 22, she admitted that she was ‘unable to stop after a few drinks’ like others were, leading her into dangerous situations.

Alcohol: Vicky previously admitted that she is ‘mortified’ looking back on her wild nights on Geordie Shore, saying she was ‘never a nice drunk’ (pictured on the show)

‘Loads of people on the show had a really nice time and became funny and silly and then stopped. That was never me. I don’t have an off switch and I was never a nice drunk,’ she said.

‘You get sloppy drunks, weepy drunks, aggressive drunks – I was all of them. I never wanted the party to stop but I’d be shouting, belligerent. I drank to excess and drank dangerous amounts.’

The influencer now struggles to watch old scenes of her on the show, admitting she wasn’t herself and felt the need to play up to the party girl character. 

Vicky has previously opened up about contemplating suicide after she was arrested in 2013, writing that ‘I had lost everything I had going for me and didn’t want to live anymore’ in her 2014 book Nothing But The Truth.

Emotional: In a tell-all interview, Vicky also recalled that she had contemplated suicide during her stint on the show (pictured with Holly Hagan and Ricci Guarnaccio in 2012)

The suicidal feelings came after she was charged for two counts of assault for drunkenly throwing a shoe at a woman in a bar – injuring all parties involved.

Vicky was ordered to undertake 180 hours of community service and pay compensation to the woman and a staff member, who was caught in the crossfire.

She explained to The Times that both her sister and a friend helped her through the time, and has since, and continues to, receive therapy.

Appearing on Loose Women back in 2016, Vicky admitted she didn’t want kids and that they ‘aren’t for everyone’, before later telling the Daily Star that kids  ‘get on my t**s’.

‘Doesn’t see it’: Appearing on Loose Women back in 2016, Vicky admitted she didn’t want kids and that they ‘aren’t for everyone’ but has since said she was afraid that addiction was genetic 

But Vicky made the decision to freeze her eggs earlier this year as she hopes to have children with fiancé Ercan Ramadan- and has now revealed the real reason she didn’t want to become a mother.

Admitting she was afraid that addiction was too genetic, she explained: ‘The real reason was because I had all my dad’s issues and hang-ups and addictions, and I was so frightened my children would end up like me: broken.’

While also detailing that not being able to drink while pregnant was unimaginable for her a few years ago, but is easier to imagine now.

Vicky is set to delve deeper into her past and family in her new Channel 4 documentary My Dad, Alcohol and Me.

For help and confidential support regarding anything in this story, call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit https://www.samaritans.org/. 

Future: But Vicky made the decision to freeze her eggs earlier this year as she hopes to have children with fiancé Ercan Ramadan