Viewers of Good Grief with Reverend Richard Coles left in floods of tears as the priest chokes up while writing a song about his late alcoholic partner who ‘promised to love him ’til he died’
- Reverend Richard Coles’s partner Reverend David died in December 2019
- Opened up about his death in the Channel 4 documentary Good Grief last night
- Travelled to a widow’s retreat on remote Scottish island where he wrote poem
- His song about David featured lines about ‘loving him until he died’
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Viewers of Good Grief with Reverend Richard Coles were left in floods of tears as he choked up with emotion while writing a song about his alcoholic partner who ‘promised to love him until he died.’
Rev Coles lost his partner David, who he wed in 2010, to alcoholism in December 2019, and later wrote a memoir, The Madness of Grief, about living with someone in the grips of alcohol addiction – and the ‘paralysing’ period of sadness that followed.
He appeared in the Channel 4 documentary last night where he met with different people across the UK to discuss the varying methods of coping with grief.
During one particularly emotional moment, Richard visited a widow’s retreat on Isle of Bute, where he wrote a song for his late husband, reading aloud: ‘We came here I remember, it was 10 years ago. It was the first summer when the sea shift bloomed. You sang, I’ll love you till I die. And that you didn’t fail.’
Many of those watching the programme were left in floods of tears over the scene, with one writing: ‘Such a tender, thoughtful film about his own grief and that of others. The singing of his beautiful poem was transfixing…lump to the throat.’
Viewers of Good Grief with Reverend Richard Coles were left in floods of tears as he choked up with emotion while writing a song about his alcoholic partner David ‘promising to love him until he died’
Rev Coles lost his partner David, who he wed in 2010, to alcoholism in December 2019, and later wrote a memoir, The Madness of Grief, about living with someone in the grips of alcohol addiction – and the ‘paralysing’ period of sadness that followed
Another added: ‘Thankyou for Good Grief. Made me laugh out loud and cry buckets. It’s been nearly eight years, but as much of a pain in the a** she could be, I love my mum and miss her lots.’
A third wrote: ‘Beautiful poem, song, images. Crying with you.’
The 59-year-old, who shot to fame in his twenties as one half of pop band The Communards with Jimmy Somerville, has continued to enjoy life in the public eye, appearing on shows including The Chase and Strictly Come Dancing.
In December, the priest won BBC One’s Celebrity MasterChef Christmas Cook-Off.
Many of those watching the documentary confessed they had been left in floods of tears by the performance
Before David’s death, the couple lived with their dogs Daisy, Pongo, Audrey and Horatio in the vicarage of St Mary’s in Finedon.
They met after David approached Richard for advice on joining the clergy and soon developed romantic feelings for each other but maintained a celibate relationship.
David’s death in December 2019 shocked parishioners, as he kept his failing health private while battling illness for more than a year.
David, who became increasingly ill with liver disease, was determined to keep the drinking problem that eventually killed him a secret, however there were public outbursts including one that involved the police.
After David died, Rev Richard explained how he had asked his partner’s family for permission to share his experiences of life with an addict – in the hopes of helping others in the same situation.
During the film, he took part in a widow’s retreat where he was tasked with writing a song about David
He told The Guardian in 2020 that he ‘discovered’ how much he wanted to express himself after David’s passing in 2019.
Among the activities Richard tried during the documentary were laughter yoga and surfing therapy.
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He later travelled to the Isle of Bute, where he took part in a widows retreat, which is designed around solidarity.
Ute Amann-Seidel, who is the founder of the retreat, explained: ‘Losing your life partner…you can’t really compare it to any other type of grief because your future gets taken away.’
In the poem, Richard detailed a trip the couple had taken to the Isle of Bute during an early stage of their relationship
‘You find yourself in a new normal and you have to design a new future.’
She said her retreats are designed to offer peer support, adding: ‘Just to feel you’re not alone on this journey and there’s other people going through the same things.’
During one meeting, he spoke of how his partner would wind up a grandfather clock in the hall but never told him how to do it.
Meanwhile he went on to have a session with music therapist Yvonne Lyon where he penned a poem about his grief.
Songwriter Yvonne Lyon was left emotional after hearing Richard’s poem, before she went on to sing it for him
Richard explained: ‘I don’t know if what I’ve written is even singable. I quite like it actually.’
Reading his poem aloud, he said: ‘Walking the beach in winter, salt spray stinging. A dog came out of nowhere, running over the shingle.
‘She circled me, not knowing if I’m a friend or foe.’
‘We came here I remember, it was 10 years ago. It was the first summer when the sea shift bloomed. You sang, I’ll love you till I die. And that you didn’t fail.’
He continued: ‘The memory comes in close, and circles. then it’s gone. Running over the wet stones while I walk on.’
There was a moments pause after he finished reading the poem, and Yvonne said it was ‘absolutely beautiful’.
Rev Richard with his partner Rev David Coles, who died in December 2019 ; Rev Richard’s memoir The Madness of Grief documented the ‘paralysing’ period of sadness that followed David’s death
The musician continued: ‘The very essence of music itself, does something in your brain.
‘It can be a tool to help you find meaning within that. It can give you a moment of meaning in the midst of it.’
Later, as Yvonne played the guitar and sang Richard’s words aloud, the priest couldn’t help but get choked up.
Richard went on to say: ‘I was absolutely with David through thick and thin, and I was with him till the very end.
‘If you really love someone, part of you is destroyed when they die. I don’t want to pretend that’s not the case. I sometimes feel the tension that I will leave him behind.
‘And I would never have left him behind. I feel a tinge of disloyalty in living more life without him.’
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