Cricket hero Graham Thorpe died by suicide on Sunday after several years of battling severe anxiety and depression — believing his family were ‘better off without him’, his devastated wife has revealed.
The 55-year-old Surrey batsman was hospitalised two years ago after a previous attempt and despite ‘glimpses of hope’, his mental health continued to deteriorate.
Although every such case is as bewildering as it is tragic, official data show men his age are among the most likely to take their own life in England and Wales.
In 2022, there were 5,642 suicides, and three quarters (71 per cent) were in males, according to the Office of National Statistics.
Men aged 45 to 64 are most at risk and deaths by suicide in this age-group have been steadily rising in recent years, despite falls in older and younger groups — and experts tracking the issue have been trying to find out why.
England legend Graham Thorpe took his own life, his family has revealed
The most recent data shows 20 deaths per 100,000 are in middle-aged men.
This is almost three times higher than the lowest rate among males — those aged 10 to 24 — which was 7.2 deaths per 100,000 people in 2022.
So what is behind these figures? Causes of suicide are always extremely complex, say The Samaritans, which warns against simplifying causes or speculating about a ‘trigger’.
In its guidance on reporting the issue, it adds: ‘Most of the time there is no single event or factor that leads someone to take their own life.’
However, Professor Nav Kapur at the University of Manchester’s Centre for Suicide Prevention said financial worries are one factor.
He said that previous research has shown that in times of economic recession male suicides in this age group go up, particularly in regions hardest hit by a downturn.
‘Middle-aged men are most vulnerable to losing their job and not getting another one,’ he said.
Professor Kapur added that with men of this age more likely to view their job and their status as a ‘breadwinner’ as keystone of their identity losing this can heavily impact their self-esteem.
Another factor is divorce. A 2012 report from the charity Samaritans found divorced men were three times more likely to attempt suicide than married men.
This is thought to be because middle aged men are very dependent on their wives for emotional support, and from the age of 30, also tend to have fewer friends than women in general.
The average age of divorce among men in the UK is 45.
Professor Stephen Platt, an expert in health policy at Edinburgh University has also pinned the high rates of suicide among men this age with them becoming increasingly isolated.
‘We’re thinking of the rise in female employment, births outside marriage, the rise in divorce and cohabitation, second and subsequent marriages, lone parent households, step-families, solo living, partnering and de-partnering,’ he said.
‘All these trends mean that men are less likely to be with a lifelong partner, and if you ally that with their difficulties in coping emotionally and being able to go out and establish new relationships with less support to fall back on than women, that makes them more vulnerable to psychological ill health and suicide.’
Another factor Professor Kapur has highlighted is that men in this age group, as a generation, tend to have ideas about masculinity that could leave them more vulnerable to thoughts of suicide.
‘They grew up with strong, silent, stoical fathers and male role models, but they’re living in a society that now values open, sharing “new men”,’ he said.
England skipper Nasser Hussain (left) and Graham Thorpe (right) celebrate after England won a historic series win against Pakistan in 2000. They were best friends
Official data from the Office for National Statistics for 2022 shows suicide rates are highest among men aged 45 to 64 (black line) at 20.4 deaths per 100,000 people this age
‘They are a gap generation left not quite knowing who they are or how to be.’
To make matters worse traditional male ‘coping mechanisms’ for feelings of suicide can exacerbate these feelings.
Professor Kapur said: ‘When women become physically or psychologically unwell, they’re more likely to seek help, to see their GP or share with their peer group.’
He said men, in contrast, are more likely to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs.
‘In the longer term, alcohol acts as a depressant on the brain; it lowers mood. In the short term, it can lead to impulsive decisions.’
Professor Shirley Reynolds, an expert in psychological therapies at Reading University, said another factor is that men are less likely in general to seek help for ailments, both physical and mental, than women.
‘We know that men, on average, do not use the NHS for physical health problems as readily as women,’ she said.
Professor Louis Appleby, chair of the Government’s National Suicide Prevention Advisory Group, has also echoed these points: ‘Men are more at risk of suicide because they are more likely to drink heavily, use self-harm methods that are more often fatal and are reluctant to seek help.’
This week Graham Thorpe’s wife Amanda and their two daughters Kitty, 22, and Emma, 19, have spoken of his mental health — and their hope that his battles on and off the pitch will continue to inspire.
Mrs Thorpe said: ‘Despite having a wife and two daughters whom he loved and who loved him, he did not get better. He was so unwell in recent times and he really did believe that we would be better off without him and we are devastated that he acted on that and took his own life’.
His two daughters have revealed that he rarely spoke about his legendary status as a cricketer – telling them ‘he knocked a ball about a bit’ – and how he loved his family and would ‘get up and dance anywhere, to anything’.
‘That’s the Graham I know and remember and loved. Graham was a free spirit. My favourite memory of him is in Barbados, which he loved, enjoying a rum punch and listening to his favourite reggae after a swim. He was handsome, so handsome. He was funny and he made us all laugh so much’, Mrs Thorpe told The Times’ Michael Atherton – his friend and former England teammate.
Graham Thorpe of England celebrates his century during the Second Test against Sri Lanka played at the Asgiriya Stadium, in Kandy in 2001 – one of the greatest innings by an Englishman abroad
An estimated 6,000 Britons and 48,000 Americans die by suicide each year.
Attempted suicides thought to be 10 to 20 times higher than these figures.
The latest ONS data recorded 5,642 suicides in England and Wales in 2022, about 10,7 deaths per 100,000 population.
About three in four (74.1 per cent of all suicides) were among men.
Overall, among men and women, people aged 50 to 54 had the highest suicide rate of 15.2 deaths per 100,000.
Similar to men women aged 45 to 64 years had the highest suicide rate among females at 6.7 deaths per 100,000.
- For confidential support call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, or click here for details
