Have you ever felt maligned by a microwavable morsel? A woman in Florida has, and she’s refusing to merely melt over it.

If you’re authentically American and sufficiently short in the tooth, you’ve likely enjoyed the palatable pleasure of Velveeta Shells & Cheese. It’s a delicious delight, and the prep time is paltry. However, Hialeah microwaving maestro Amanda Ramirez recently noticed something about the entree she was ionizing: Despite its package’s promise, it wasn’t eligible to be eaten within 180 seconds.

Yet the creamy cup claimed, “Ready in Three and a Half Minutes.”

Amanda is demanding answers — the kind only cash can give. But she’s keeping it classy with a class action lawsuit.

From News18 via MSN:

Ramirez filed the suit in US District Court for the Southern District of Florida’s Miami Division on November 18. As the plaintiff, she has alleged that…the company…indulged in false advertising and in propagating misleading information via its claim that the Mac and Cheese is “ready in three and a half minutes.” The suit has quoted the four steps the customer needs to follow to prepare the meal, highlighting that microwaving the food for three and a half minutes is only one of the steps…

The lawsuit states that customers who read the “Ready in Three and a Half Minutes” stamp on the product packaging “will believe it represents the total amount of time it takes to prepare the product…”

It’s gutsy, though not as bold as suing because it takes less time than advertised — which would just as equally constitute a lie.

Whatever the particulars, it appears an absolute fact — whenever there’s food-related news, it’s most always an interesting ordeal:

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Back to baked bites of cheddar and betrayal, Amanda’s suit details the difficulty of making macaroni — the preparatory process even involves lifting a lid.

Courtesy of ClassAction.org:

According to the case, the four steps…include removing a cup’s lid and cheese sauce pouch, adding water to the cup’s fill line and stirring, microwaving uncovered on high for three and a half minutes without draining, and finally stirring in the contents of the cheese sauce pouch. The filing contends that consumers…believe the mac and cheese will be ready to eat in that amount of time, not that just one of the preparation steps will be completed.

MSN makes clear Amanda has microwaver’s remorse:

[She] further states that she would not have made the purchase had she known that the product’s preparation time was longer than 3.5 minutes. The Florida resident further noted that she would either ‘not have purchased’ the product at all or ‘paid less had she known the truth’. Ramirez believes that she shelled out ‘more for the [box of eight 67-gram cups] than she would have paid’ if she had known the actual time it took to make the meal was longer than advertised.

Amanda seems like a literal kind of consumer. Hopefully, when she procured her Shells and Cheese, she didn’t also purchase Minute Rice; it takes multiple moments to open that package, too.

The plaintiff is seeking $5,000,000 in damages.

In the event that she wins, hopefully the money will allow her more time. If she can’t afford four minutes for macaroni, the lady should loosen her schedule.

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-ALEX

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