There’s nothing quite like the feelings of elation, release, and tranquility that follow an incredible orgasm, whether you climaxed with someone you’re really into or during a satisfying solo session. So why do some of us inexplicably cry after orgasm, even if the experience is great? What’s happening in the body that can lead to such divergent reactions?
One 2020 survey of 223 women and 76 men found that nearly 92% of people reported having an emotional reaction after sex over the past four weeks. Women were most likely to report mood swings and sadness, while men reported reduced energy and unhappiness. And nearly 34% of these people said they only experienced these feelings after orgasm.
“During orgasm, we are in a body and mind trance or flow experience,” Sari Cooper, LCSW, AASECT-certified sex therapist, director of the Center for Love and Sex, and founder of coaching program Sex Esteem, tells SELF. “A person may be reminded of hurts, disappointments, or fears of separation through this intensely bonding experience.”
For many people, crying after orgasm is nothing more than a surprising and fleeting reaction. But for some, it could be signaling deeper emotions that are begging to be explored. Here’s what you should consider if this happens to you.
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First, let’s recap the science. What’s going on in the body when you orgasm?
An orgasm is a full-body experience, but it really starts with your brain, per the Sexual Medicine Society of North America. When any part of the genitals—the clitoris, vagina, penis, or prostate—is stimulated, your nerves send signals to your brain. Researchers have found that the thalamus—a brain structure that’s involved with sensory, memory, and emotional processing—“helps integrate information about touch a person receives, movement they’re involved with, and any sexual memories or fantasies they think about to help them reach orgasm,” Cooper says.
During orgasm, the brain releases chemicals to boost blood flow to the genitals, which essentially amps up the pleasure factor; physical tension down there is also relieved through a series of fierce muscle contractions. Meanwhile, your brain is also flooding your system with “feel-good” hormones; oxytocin brings up feelings of trust and intimacy, while prolactin generates the sensations of warmth and satiation that we tend to associate with orgasm, Cooper explains.
So, why do some people cry after orgasm?
There are lots of reasons you might cry after orgasm, Cooper says, including both the hormonal cascade caused by the orgasm itself and your individual emotional reaction to it.
Even though crying is seen as a sign of sadness, getting teary-eyed after orgasm could, ironically enough, be linked to a sense of euphoria—for example, when you feel a release of built-up emotional tension if it’s been a long time since you climaxed with a partner. It could also just be a sign of your sympathetic nervous system “coming down” from a powerful physical experience, Cooper says. This set of nerves is responsible for your body’s automatic functions, like your heart rate and blood pressure; it helps deliver more blood to certain parts of your body in intense situations—including your genitals during orgasm.
Source: SELF
